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Java
Dear Diary,

Well'that's it aw by wi' Tae be honest, diary, if ah see another sprout ah'll poke ma eyes oot wi a mint matchmaker'..ma resolution no tae put things off isny workin oot too well since ah shoulda startit this yesterday. It's aw ma son's fault'.he said he wis givin me a Lazy Boy fur ma Christmas'ah thought he meant the chair but oh naw, no him, he's jist point blank refusing tae do anything'ah said he's been givin me that same present aw his life, but he says that's cos he knows how much ah like it...

Ah've lotsa lovely jumpers mind ye'.and none o' yer yodelling up a mountain type this year'.nice wans'.wans wi slipper socks '.oh, except wan o' them'it's a polo neck, but it's sleeveless'whits that aw aboot?...whits the point o' yer neck bein warm if yer airms are frozen?....ah'll hufty see if a kin get matchin wool an knit the rest o' it masel'.

Ah've took aw the decorations doon, place disny half look bare noo'. Only half mind ye cos ah made a mortal mistake -ah got glittery ornaments, and the glitter's a law untae itsel'.ah've hud glittery tea wi the last glittery mince pies the night'..ah think Oxfam's due a wee visit the morra'.

Here, ah wunner if onybuddy else is startin a diary?....
lindamac
biggrin.gif couldn`t we awe jist use your diary seein as it`s startit anawethings? urr dwee hufty hae oor ain wan? rolleyes.gif





dear javas diary ave been haein a tongue dragging time o it furr sumitt diffrent tae eat,am ferr scunnert wi christmas food anawe, best a could dae was ave made a massive LASAGNE.........................noo ave aweways wunnert witt makes me dae this but the dish is bigger than me yit wurr only 4 o us in the faimly . ns likely weel eat it till wurr jist aboot dunn in and turnt tae LASAGNE thus defeating ma original purpose, tae stoap awe this tonguedragging eatin o same stuff awe the time ,results are , snae differnt frae christmas when ave said awe n dunnit again ye know made too much o the same grubb yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! think am still cooking furr 7 when a cooked furr ma mammy hahaha jings a hope this habit stoaps soon.
Java
Dear 'Open' Diary,

Resolution number two has gone furra burton...resolved no tae get frustratit when hair dis candy floss thing....got frustratit and hair is now fallin oot at alarmin rate....wunner how much a wig costs.....

Sick tae the back teeth of wind an rain....wunner how much a ticket tae somewhere warm is.....also sick tae back teeth of bein back at work....wunner how much ah've goat in ma pension fund...scratch that, diary, ah've no goat a pension fund....wunner how ah'll survive in auld age....

Phoned mammy and she is fine...has startit wi next years presents awreddy and is waitin fur easter eggs tae appear in shoaps....wunner where ah wis when the organised gene wis bein passed doon the line....probly tryin tae fix hair....

Only wan thing furrit, diary...back tae bed...
lindamac
laugh.gif laugh.gif

FRAID yer mammy passed it oan tae me as ave goat 5 christmas presents and 3 burfdy gifts aweready.hahaha lollol o & thur wisney ony snaw in the envelope or cerd she sent me it in hahaha

dear open diary cin ye no jist keep the name Javas Diary kinda like in the papers or the magazines ye know like dear Doactar or dear (whits yon wan thits inna sunday papers???) ...........AYE thats it .............................DEAR FRANCIS WHITING OANLY WULL USE JAVAMOL stead???witt dyee hink Dear Javamol?

Dear Javamol gonna save up and come see me in Australia furr a hoaladay seeing as its so easy tae make hoals in yer stoakins here,Lets see noo a hoal a day furr 21 days costs ????????????
Dear Javamol how much diz it cost furr 21 pairs o stoakins ? cos weel if ye jist dinny buy any thurrs nane tae get hoals in and thats a cash saving tae go towards yer we stint abroad tae Australia tae stay wi me hahaha
jaybee
Dear Diary, I hope you are a big one because there are an awful lot of chatty people in this group.... anyway, thought you would want to know that I broke more balls taking doon the tree than whit a did puttin up the tree. Ah really should stop putting brandy in my morning coffee...lol, Jaybee
Geezabrek
Dear (Java's Open) Diary. I am gonna cut doon on the drink and food and sweeties - efter I get through aw the stuff I bot for the guests and aw that my girls bot and my mates bot and wot peepol bot me as pressies and wot I wun in the wurks draw...Or mibby i will start a wee shop?? Hmmm: wink.gif
Avril
Dear Diary,
Ah'm gonnie be honest wi' ye.....how cin a possibly cut doon oan the drink and sweeties when ah've goet a hooseful o' the stuff? Ah booght loads in an' it's a' gone but ev'rybudy that's visited brooght me mair! So ah've goet tae dae the decent thing and polish it aff...huvn't ah? Ah don't want tae offend anybudy...know whit ah mean? huh.gif

This year ah plan tae plan, tae plan, tae plan tae go roon' the world an' visit Lindyloo.....we're gonnie go surfin' the-gether oan the big waves....that's efter we dae oor parachute jump! Then ah'll go and see a' my other GG pals in OZ, Canada, USA, Scotland and England...so if a' ma plans, tae plan, tae plan, tae plan come tae fruition ah should huv realised a' ma plans, tae plan, tae plan by 2020......ah cannae wait! laugh.gif

Ah'm gonnie bounce oan ma trampoline everyday tae lose a' ma 'puppy fat' then ah'm gonnie buy a rid swimming costume an' see if ah cin get a part in Baywatch while ah'm visiting Tarheels!

Then ah'm gonnie dae a course as a lumberjack (Ye never know when ye'll need these skills) while ah'm visitin' ah' ma GG pals in Canada

Efter a' that ah plan tae come tae Glesga oan ma wey back hame fae ma roon' the world trip, ah'll want tae relax a bit efter a' the excitement so ah'm planning a nice quiet night at the Karaoke in The Horseshoe Bar wi' a' ma GG pals.

Ah'm away tae start ma plans, tae plan, tae plan noo!
If any o' yeez think ah might huv missed sumfin' then let me know please cause ah' want this tae be the trip o' a lifetime!
maggies
QUOTE (javamol @ 2nd Jan 2007, 10:14 PM)
Dear Diary,

Well…that’s it aw by wi… Tae be honest, diary, if ah see another sprout ah’ll poke ma eyes oot wi a mint matchmaker…..ma resolution no tae put things off isny workin oot too well since ah shoulda startit this yesterday. It’s aw ma son’s fault….he said he wis givin me a Lazy Boy fur ma Christmas…ah thought he meant the chair but oh naw, no him, he’s jist point blank refusing tae do anything…ah said he's been givin me that same present aw his life, but he says that's cos he knows how much ah like it...

Ah’ve lotsa lovely jumpers mind ye….and none o’ yer yodelling up a mountain type this year….nice wans….wans wi slipper socks ….oh, except wan o’ them…it’s a polo neck, but it’s sleeveless…whits that aw aboot?...whits the point o’ yer neck bein warm if yer airms are frozen?....ah’ll hufty see if a kin get matchin wool an knit the rest o’ it masel….

Ah’ve took aw the decorations doon, place disny half look bare noo…. Only half mind ye cos ah made a mortal mistake -ah got glittery ornaments, and the glitter’s a law untae itsel….ah’ve hud glittery tea wi the last glittery mince pies the night…..ah think Oxfam’s due a wee visit the morra….

Here, ah wunner if onybuddy else is startin a diary?....

Dear diary,cos am very new here ,i keep getting lost,so forgive me if i dont get back for a while,cos i forget were i found u,lol wacko.gif
jakka13
Hi Maggies ,welcome to the board .We all go round in circles sometimes ,That's what makes these boards fun .
Hope you find your feet soon and get to know us all .
cheers Jakka wink.gif
lindamac
DEAR JAVAS OPEN DIARY

AM SEEK O LASAGNE NOO GONNA GEEZ A BREK AND DRAP ME SOME IDEAS FURR DINNER THANKS rolleyes.gif

OH HEAR NOO THANKS FURR THE MORRAS MORN COS WEEL MA HACKET FEET NEED A SEEING TAE YON CURLY NAILS SEEM SET APATRT FRAE SOCIETYS NORM HAHAHALOL................A GOT MASELL A WEE GIFT CERD TAE HAE A FEET MASSAGE AN AWE THE BUNFF THIT GOES WI IT .DYEES THINK THULL HAE SHEERS THERE FUR MA FEET??????? MIBEES A N A WEE RASP FILE FURR MA THICK HORD SKIN O MA FEET HAHAHA NEIL SAYS THEEL NEED A GRINDER FURR MA HACKET FEET THANK GAWD HE`S NO A FEET MAN EH laugh.gif

JINGS AM THAT WAPPIT OOT WI HAEIN TAE USE THE LAWNMOWER FURR TAE SHAVE MA LEGS THE SEFTERNIN
Java
Dear Diary,

Apologies diary, am scribblin very hard this mornin so page underneath will probly have imprints...Am right up tae high doh cos have already spillt tea aw doon me...am sure there is song in there somewhere...

Tripped over dog who am sure lies in wait to see tea in hand then positions itself accordingly...am pretty sure it was grinning as it went under table...

Must go to supermarket today...will take oil can as am bound to get squeaky wheel trolley which also lies in wait grinning and plotting to take me straight to cream cake aisle and then to checkout with longest queue...will get nowhere near the shoe polish I need...

Wunner if ah could live off the land...wunner if dog makes good meat....ah'm kiddin, diary, s'probly way too chewy....wunner how long a person could live oan pine cones....if no entry the morra, diary, question answered....
Geezabrek
Hey Lindamac... whit have I got to do with lasagne ?? Huv you been peekin in my windy the morning efter the night before .. when i daren't look in the mirror? If yer efter tips fur dinner, how about Java's dug... seems it might be on the menu if it keeps trippin her up?
Hey maggie.... very big welcums. wub.gif
Dear Diary... I didny want to go to wurk today, but forced myself and wiz ok when I goat there as i remembered where the kettle wiz. Mibby I can find it again the morra. Anyway, I probably actually like it a bit as I canny forget whit to do when I get there (yet). tongue.gif
maggies
thx u for the welcome Geezabrek,, wub.gif and to u too Jakka 13 tongue.gif ive found my feet with the help of Lindamac,lol,cheers linda lol cheers everyone xxx
lindamac
biggrin.gif HERE NOO A RESEMBLE THAT REMARK rolleyes.gif
lindamac
tongue.gif tHATS A RERR IDEA THANKS FURR THE BREK GEEZA AL HAE A CRACK AT RABBIT STEW HAHAHA OR MIBEES AL HAE SOME ROASTED PIG FRAE SEEING JAVAS WEE PIGGY HAHA THEMS GOTTA BE BETTER THAN JAVAS DUGG AND ANY WAYS SHES GOAT 2 DUGGS SO THE ITHER WAN WULL GET JEALOUS AND WELL THEN AL END UP WI SAME AUL SAME AUL .......TO MUCH O THE SAME FING HAHAHA rolleyes.gif CHEERS JAVAS DIARY....................OINK OINK
Avril
Hey maggies, welcome hen..noo that ye've found yer feet ye'll huv tae come in tae the cyber bar and dae a bit o' pole dancing, me an' Linda will show ye how it's done, nae bother! cool.gif

Dear Diary
Must get that pole back fae oor firemen frien's!!! rolleyes.gif
maggies
Evening Georgia,,thx u for the welcome,,now bout this cyber cafe,,,my feet cant find it,,,am up for a bit of pole dancing,,might get some of the weight off ive gained over xmas,lol hope ur well laugh.gif
Avril
Maggies, Come alang tae ma hoose an' huv a wee bounce oan ma trampoline, it's only a wee indoors wan but ye'll be daein' somersaults an ' tum'lin' o'er yer wilkies in nae time.....ah cin bounce fae ma trampoline ontae the tap o' ma fireman's pole.... laugh.gif

Dear Diary,

This year, ah'm workin' oan a new cabaret act fur the cyber pub. Ah'm gonnie add the trampoline tae ma pole dancin' routine biggrin.gif
maggies
hi georgia,,,put kettle on henam on me way,,,is ur house the one with the fire engine outside,lol,amno that far away am on the south coast biggrin.gif
Avril
maggies, jist follow the blue flashin' lights an' listen fur the sirens hen, ye'll find me at the end o' them!


Dear Diary,

Must remember tae replace that blue light bulb in 2007!
maggies
cooeeeeeee georgia am shouting fru ur letter box but u canny hear me fur the blooming sirens lol tongue.gif
stuarty
java a found where the deer was hidin out soo clever so he is and no ideer laugh.gif
Anne1
Hi Stuarty, that is a very very clever deer nae wonder java cannae find it, where do you find all these things
Cheers laugh.gif l:
Java
Dear Diary,

Have spent the day visitin poorly sick person in hospital. Spent half of visitin time in emergency as collapsed at prices charged in car park. Tis no wonder people are sick. Nurse left trolley at bedside of sick person, so bandaged sick person head to toe in order to get moneys worth. Also put plasters on car park attendants peeces – will not be able to visit sick person again in near future.

Tried to do 7500 piece jigsaw….was too hard so glued all pieces together and cut into easier shapes….picture is now rubbish but have put lid of box in bin so no-one will know.
Lennox
QUOTE (javamol @ 5th Jan 2007, 12:06 PM)
Dear Diary,

  Spent half of visitin time in emergency as collapsed at prices charged in car park.  Tis no wonder people are sick. 

Dear, Java's Diary
If I had to pay to park at a hospital I would collapse as well, why do you have to pay to go to the hospital? Do they not get enough of your money, oops scratch that diary I forgot you don't pay when you go into the hospital, you have the national health..... I am probaly gonna get in trouble now, oh that is the story of my life so far this year, so I'll just quit while I am a head.
lindamac
rolleyes.gif dear diary am jist wunnerring witt actually becomes o awe the dough ray me that is earned via a hospitals car park? and would be gledd furra a itemised paperchase ..................oh and eventualy get nae whurr fast and weel mays well gie up the noo seeing as a huv a ferr idea o witts ahead o me

dear javas diary oan second thought al jist mind ma ain beeswax cos its as slippery as the governments lengthy unreasonable way to reason wi the people and well being as a aweready know n that al gie it a bi.......................so anyways diary thats ma claw feet awe tidy n paitit up they didny bother wi the file .........cos neils predictions wurr right a had to get grindit wi the grinder as the pototti peeler n cheese peelers broke n thurr wisny any merr blades strong enuff laugh.gif
maggies
evening diary,,,how the devil are u biggrin.gif
Geezabrek
Dear ja-di ... today I succumb-ded and ate another chocolate.. only another 6,003 to ignore then it's easter innit ? biggrin.gif (Hey Stuarty.... that guy is gonna get a heck'ova surprise when nature calls in on that deer) .. blink.gif
Geezabrek
Anybuddy else agree this is gonna be up there wi the pinned wans soon ?
Java
Dear Diary,

Went to local pub last night for change of scene. Sat next to farmers synchronising watches for daily tractor run. Were drowning sorrows as apparently only managed to hold up forty seven cars yesterday. Record is ninety three by four tractors working as team.

Had shot at darts and thought about joining team…captain said no as cost of parking at hospital is too high. Had shot at dominoes and thought about joining team…captain also said no as joining dots on dominoes is not allowed.

Asked for cherry and umbrella in drink. Pub does not do cocktails so ended up with tomato crisp and dart in half pint of shandy. Was surprisingly good so had two more….now have full set of darts but am still not allowed on team.

Lovely night so decided to walk home. Lovely night lasted exactly seven minits then not so lovely night. Much wind and rain so put hood up. Hood hampers vision so strayed into ditch – was filthy and lost shoe in mud but passing polis kindly gave me lift to station. Am now charged with being hoodie and carrying offensive weapons. Pub denies giving me darts. Have sat in cell for eleven hours as husband is stuck in traffic due to tractors. Wunner if polis need new member of gun club.....
Java
Dear Diary,

Tried to make up for being arrested by making lovely meal. Was complete disaster. Seems sweet potatoes are not ordinary potatoes with sugar on top. Have ruined best pan but have new recipe for toffee…will contact McCowans later in day to see if they are intrestit…

Found carrot shaped like crossed fingers so bought lottery ticket…was all excited and dancing around with husband as had six numbers up but was checking draw from three weeks ago. Husband has gone for refund on bail money.

Is blowing gale outside but dog wants walk and keeps making bolt for door. Have put toffee on paws but dog is smart and has licked some off…cannot open mouth and has only unglued two legs but is still trying for door.

Wunner if approaching policemen like toffee…..
Rab-oldname
Java - laugh.gif Thanks! Better than the Herald Diary.
lindamac
Dear Javas Diary
I have jist read awe Javas posts intae her diary and am sure ave made the right decision when a say....."this lassie needs tae be having her ain comic strip cos shes funny hahaha and very much the unconcieous( and am no meaning the oot cauld type hahaha)imagine her oan a stage wi this stuff witta comedienne she would be,better than Billy Conolly nae probs haha.

I love the whole concept of Java dain merr n merr funny comical posts shes pure dead brulliant and her sense o humours marvellously broad and appealing and am nae critic but a hope some day she and her wee funny bits are discovered by professional comedy scouts and earn her mullions cos well she`d ne kind wi that kinda earnings tae and well............mibees al get ma trip hame paid furr hahahaha laugh.gif Don`t panick diary a was oanly joking well a thoat it wis funny..........och well thurrs only wan Java & I raise my hat off tae her hilarity & fun nature yer magic Java dolls.........can a be yer roady? hahaha tongue.gif
Geezabrek
C'mon Java.. Let the diary ken with yer oan hen! ... A know we had loadsa mines here'n cumbria and wi you are living oan the land anat, yu'v probabley got a 'secret' mine with aload-0 lead or "summat else" eh? - jist like that wummin in the movie aboot the lakes eh?? (she had a secret for a hunnert years - called 'The lake district"... rolleyes.gif PS. Wiz that wanny your dugs that left a wee 'deposit' oan my gardin last night? At first I thoght it wiz a mole til i tried to move it... grrrrrr. Jist wait .... tongue.gif
Java
Dear Diary,

Policemen very understanding. Have agreed to drop charges if I volunteer for community service. Have joined group of ten and am only one without asbo so am clearly inadequate.

Have been assigned to help frail old lady. Have actually been assigned to help sixty three cats who let frail old lady live in house. Sixty three cats can sense am dog person. Many claws and much hissing. Will bring dog tomorrow.

Tried to clean house but cats get in way. Threw bit of fish out back door but all cats went for cat flap at same time. Now only sixty one cats. May achieve asbo status sooner than expected.

Frail old lady is keen on sewing. Is making cushion for each cat. Ran out of cats at sixty one cushions so had to create diversion by sewing fingers together. Frail old lady is not very good nurse. Was happy to let me bleed to death while she looked for missing cats. Caused further diversion by hiding cushions but frail old lady followed trail of blood and found them in cistern. Now have stitches in arms and legs as well as fingers…old lady is not as frail as she looks.

Was not allowed on bus to get home and husband is still in huff over lottery so had to walk. Was followed by thirty seven cats. Have no fish to throw so may have to use dog….will have cup of tea and see if dog grins.


PS. Cheers all.....but this is gonna get very borin if we dont get everybody tae join in....give us yer daily read.... biggrin.gif
lindamac
biggrin.gif Dear Javas Diary Boring witt this here Diary nae wayes wull it get boring sos weel .........am oan it hahaha,,,,witt?..........am kiddin!

Its 11am monday mornin........I have tae get oota ma jamjams
1130am scootit aroon shout box then the boards


1.30pm awe ma Gawd a better move it n get the washing in.then a cin hae anither wee go at boards,mibees type a few answerposts.

2.30pm awe Jings ave no dunn the brekky dishes yit? better move.................................3.30pm phew am rid hoat runnin roon here sweat gushin oota me here ..Oh ehm Neil....xxx hiya hows yer day doll hope ye wurrney working as hard as me the day doll? soooo hot ave no even had time tae git dressed am that Puggelt ...................3.40 Neils in shower am Blue n the face n ers n graces as a dust dry dishes spray airfreshner n make a cuppa tea n ask ma son tae cook the tBones furr tea the nicht cos well he cooks thum better than me.....................well he does!.........4pm Neils clean a gave him his cuppa & telt him thurrs emails furr him & ave set up the Pooter aweready furrum haha.............. phew am aff furra shower Steaks furr tea the nicht oor Steven wull cook um whilst am showering al be back in 10 mins 5pm Lindas clean but jist pit oan clean jamjams cos well its night timish int it & wurr no gawn oot hahaha 5.15pm Dinners polished aff and we 3 are blethering efter oor eats (Heathers away oan her holidays).....6.50 Neil stevens asleep am back oan the boards and made anither shout read a pm and replyed tae a topic ..........awe naw Neils shouting a best get these dishes washed afore a totaly pee him aff............Jings am a lucky lassie the day ave managed tae get away wi murder polis haha laugh.gif Its only 6.52 pm hahaha
Geezabrek
Dear JD. A think a found wan o them bloomin cats - I went tae a retirement home doon the coast today and nearly tripped over a resident cat ... but in 'suddenly' dodging it I caught my foot on a zimmer and landed in a heap on the carpet ... Didny think anywan had seen my acrobatics but on looking up saw a wee group of oldies sat smiling silently at me ... Musta thought the Christmas entertainment had arrived late? grrrrr blink.gif
Java
laugh.gif Geeza....ye probly made their day.... biggrin.gif ...

Dear Diary,

Went back to old lady. Only thirty six cats followed so had to hide one more cushion. Old lady wanted to sort out attic so phoned Sothebys in advance. Lady is old so figured stuff must be old. Was wrong. Old lady is hoarder of empty tins and bottles. Have packed eighty one boxes of empty tins and bottles, one dead mouse and two stuffed cats. Snooty man from Sothebys came. Did not want stuffed cats but had suggestion for where I could put them. Am pretty sure snooty man failed biology O level.

Went to supermarket to get trolley for moving boxes to recycling point. Was followed by only sixteen cats so rest must be in cream puff. Discarded fourteen trolleys but still managed to get wobbly wheel. Trolley only holds six boxes so made many trips. Put green glass in clear glass bin by mistake. Jobsworth watching so had to retrieve green glass. Have many cuts and bruises. Sixteen cats spied two stuffed cats and wanted reunion so have many scratches also. On way back saw many small children running scared to mummies. Big Issue seller gave me free copy. Think am now official mad bag lady of town.

Got home and went for lovely bubble bath. Must remember in future bubble bath is very nippy when person has many cuts and scratches. Slipped in panic to get out of bath so now have head split open but cannot get stitches as am still banned from hospital. Am staying in bed for rest of week. Cannot possibly come to any harm there.
Geezabrek
Java... pop an auld deed fish in the cardboard recycle unit ... they'l aw follow the smell and then enjoy the lovely wee hoos they've found and likely stay (mibby). PS Run like hell when you see them go in otherwise they mite see ya and follow ya bak hame??

Dear JD.. Went tae wurk today and parked like everybuddy else in the street near the building (nae car park fur us pal) and went back to car about 45 minutes later and bless them, I got a parking ticket fur not displaying wan of them 'parking discs' (forgoat) .... grrrr.... doubt if I can get aff it, but have submitted a challenge / response to say they only popped their initialls on the document when it says 'signature' .. I will challenge it as far / often as possible just to make them wurk and will feel better knowing they have had to earn my £30 (if paid within 14 days - £60 if not). mad.gif
Java
Mair power tae ye Geeza...make them dae somethin fur wur money... biggrin.gif

Dear Diary,

Am poorly sick. Cuts and scratches are awfy sore. Good news is found missing cat this morning. Bad news is missing cat was in bed so have now spilt porridge all over sheets and duvet. Am too poorly sick to change bedding. Have thrown cat out of bed and thrown sheets and duvet on top so am having good laugh watching cat trying to get out. Am too poorly sick to laugh but am struggling on. Am bit lonely....wunner where all pals are.... sad.gif
Geezabrek
Dear JDiary. Still nae response from the mad mullahs. Have made a mental note to reply to whitever they say with another email, then mibby wan or two phone calls, then if I 'must' pay it, I reckon on 30 individual £1 cheques as I'll have lawfully paid but 'they' will have to pay a business charge on each cheque so won't be getting all the dosh. Have asked Bank for new cheque book.
Made another mental note to growl at the mullahs when they come in the same lift as me (or mibbi I should just do a silent wheeeesht ?? Not sure.
Made another mental note to do something else but canny remember whit !!
New bathroom being installed. Looking forward to washing in bowl in kitchen tomorra dry.gif
lindamac
unsure.gif Dear Diary am that hoat the noo please remind me tae make a mental note to shut front door when am gone roon the hoose in nuffin but ma drawers & spaggetti strapped top cos the thoat o the mailman or anywan else seeing ma bitz o this n bitza that is quite unnerving tae me. A hink am merr upset at the heat the noo than witt the heck the postie sees haha och weel hes used tae ducking under the trees when they stick thurr bitts oat in front o um. oan secint thoats am no botherin mibees al keep door open tae get merr breeze in.

Ave had a tiring coupla days so am dain nae merr furra coupla days merr haha well it looks like am dain summitt dint it ? och noo the day a was oan GG catching up oan posts & replys etc when I saw a few wee familiar paths appearing & so anyways even though ma mind says noo Linda dinny eat the hook the line nor the sinker jist pass it by say nuffin but strictly speaking it`s no exactly in a wummins nature tae dae nor say nuffin so .....................Aye a did I ate the whole hook line and near choked oan the sinker of a few posts that aggravatit me so ave got ma feet waiting cooling in a bucket o watter tae keep me fresh furr being hooked lined & sunk yet again when that poster fishes again haha. while I wait for the opposing poster tae come fishing furr me I will sit aroon dae merr o nuffin & well soak haha cheery bye Diary see ye ron as in Later eh.haha laugh.gif
RonD
Dear jd, ah've jist scooted in, ah hope ah don't get caught , ah hink java's away see'intae the cats. This seemed the perfect venue 'cause ah jist wanted tae say java, linda, georgia, sumac, catherine, jist tae name a few huv a very nice turn wi' words. Ah'm stoapped bein' amazed at the literary ramblin's that they manage tae post oan an on goin' basis. The imaginative pieces whether fiction or jist succinct factual retellin's are worth the trip tae GG every chance ah get. Anywey, ah'm oot o' here afore ah get caught. !!!!!!
Java
S'onybuddy's diary, Ron.....all contributions very welcome.... biggrin.gif

Dear Diary,

Am no longer poorly sick. Covered self in calamine lotion and germoline. Husband came into room in dark and thought ghost of granny was in bed so is in huff again. Am not sure why pink and white dotty person reminds him of granny, must look into family tree.

Had visit from few friends, but have noted missing names and will save for emotional blackmail later.

Went to butchers to get stuff for second attempt at lovely meal. Butcher is very nice man…will mince anything. Except dog. Enquired at inopportune moment and butcher is now very nice man with three fingers. Did not charge for extra bits. Decided to try spaghetti bolognaise. Was not sure which wine is good with spaghetti so bought four different bottles. Was very proud of self. Made trial batches of spaghetti and tried with each wine. Woke up thinking husband had forgiven all, but was dog licking sauce from face. Could not remember which combination was best, but immaterial since no wine or spaghetti left. Am looking particularly sexy with mixture of sauce, calamine and germoline so am thinking of bringing out own range of skin products. Will phone Avon as soon as dog gets off me.
Avril
Dear Diary,

Ah'm sitting' in ma lounge ferr scunnered because ah've temporarily loast ma independence. sad.gif Ah've goet tae say though that ma man huz been great, he's plonked me oan the sofa wi' ma laptoap an' everythin' ah need fur the day oan the coaffee table, ie. files, paperwork, accounts, mornin' post, weetabix fur breakfast, sandwiches fur lunch, bottled water, tissues, baby wipes, 3 telephones, phone charger, remote controls, vitamin tablets, medication, diary, notepad, pens, handbag, magazines, oh and a big puffed-up pillow and blanket! Trouble is ah don't know whether ah should be daein' accounts/paperwork, making phone calls, eating/drinkin', blawin' ma nose, watchin' tele or courrieing into ma pillow and blanket. Ah cin jist aboot get up oan crutches noo, so hopefully ah should be runnin' ma ain life again soon! Ah cannae complain though cause ma man's been great, he's seein' tae me afore he' goes tae work, workin' a' day, gaun shoppin, makin' dinner, daeing the washin', hooverin' etc., ok it's no' how a' wid dae things, there seems tae be a never-ending supply of beer comin' fae the fridge an ah' cin see things a wid luv tae get up an' dae masel properly but ah cannae so ah wull jist huv tae be patient an' wait tae ah'm able an' be grateful that ah've goet such a carin' man in the furst place.

Hopefully ah'll be a wee bit mair active tamorra!!!! smile.gif
stratson
Dear Diary, this is a message fur java, as a wance conneusseur o wines,(maistly drinkin' them) may I suggest java next time yer makin' a Bolognese the best red wine tae compliment it is a "Cheeky wee Beaujolais". tongue.gif
Avril
Aye Java, try a cheeky wee Beaujolais Nouveau 1999 laugh.gif wink.gif
Angela Chick
Dear Diary, am fair fed up been no well since xmas never even got oot at the bells tae ma hogmanay bash its no fair sad.gif a was nursing ma man and lassie the 1st week of xmas, but me being a woman i jist could nae lie doon tae it.

Hid tae crawl tae the cooker and make soup for the invalids, well we aw no that men dont take the flu its life threatning wae the men folk laugh.gif

Well am gonny brave the elements the day cos a hiv got hoose syndrome and get blew away wae a gust a wind known ma luck ha ha.
RonD
Dear Dairy, It's awfu' aboot a' these wummin being sick, it's no right, ah hope they feel better soon. That reminds me that ah huvnae hud a sniffle in five years, nae cauld, nae flu (knock oan wid) coincidentally the same time that ah huv been a vegan. Ah put it doon tae no takin' any dairy (awright so a wee bit o' milk chocolate noo and then,mostly noo!!!) Ah no preachin'mind ye, jist tellin' how it is wi' me. A' the best and hope tae see yeez up an' at it.!!
Avril
Up an' at whit rdem???? rolleyes.gif wink.gif
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