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Glasgow Boards/Forums > Misc Boards > Jokes
Java
We've all wished for something in life.....the idea of this game is to prove that you may not really want what it is you're wishing for. Somebody makes a wish then the next person grants the wish, but puts conditions on it....for example...

Keelie might wish for a pair of shoes......

I grant the wish, but the soles of the shoes are made of a material that attracts every piece of chewing gum she walks past....

Get the idea?.......

Okay, somebody make a wish... biggrin.gif

(Please, no world domination, loads of money, power etc....it wouldny make ye happy really....)
Davy's Girl
Davy and I go yard "sailing" most Saturday mornings so I will wish for good weather.
{hope this is how to play the game} smile.gif
Java
It is indeed Shari, but first yer gonna have to tell me whit yard sailing is....ah have visions of you an Davy jumpin ower everybodys back garden fences on a skateboard...am ah close? laugh.gif
davyab44
Hi Java.....dead right hen...goat it in wan........actually "Yard sailing " is our term/play on words for " Yard sales " which are very big in our corner of the world. It's just a garage sale held in the front yard of the house. I still can't believe some of the great "buys" Shari has come up with. She's an expert when it comes to picking up "neat junk"....the only mistake I know of was when she got me.
As I type this, Shari's putting on her "Yard sale" face and we're off to do battle with the vendors. Our latest and one of the best accquisitions to date was a pair of swivel/rocker chairs in light blue. They look brand new and cost us the princly sum of $25.00 the pair. Across the pond that would be 12 Pounds....cannae dae that at ra Barras, eh?
The weather is absolutely gorgeous, as we speak, so here's hoping. wink.gif
marina
java could you gee me some money just so a can find oot if itll make me happy cos you dont know tae you try tongue.gif
Java
Thanks for clearin that up fur me Davy, although personally ah think my activity wis way better..... laugh.gif

anyway...Shari your wish for good weather is granted and the sun will shine when you go yard sailing........but ye have to wear yer swimmin cossies everywhere ye go...

Marina...your wish for money is also granted.....but ye have to pay for everythin with a fifty pound note and ye get yer change in pennies....

I wish I could sing....
keelie gal
Java can i have a handbag tae match ma shoes please wink.gif

ohhh and summit tae scrap all that gum aff the souls o ma shoes lol lol
Java
Sorry Keelie...yer 'stuck' wi the shoes....lol

Ah should mention here that the next person is supposed to grant the wish of the one before and add their own condition...

However, I grant your wish Keelie...you have your handbag....but...it's fulla water and there's a goldfish swimmin in it...

I wish it was dinner time....... biggrin.gif
Catherine
Dinner time it is then Java, yer plates oan the top of the pulley where ye'v tae eat it pet.

First yer gettin bolkybarley soup, nae salt an pepper but yer allowed tae yase a clothespeg oan yer nose....hus tae be a plastic wan though.
Then yer havin raw chicken, seven artichokes, anna waarm lettuce wrapped banana.
Dessert is raw garlic wae chocolate marshmallows covert wae instant coffee laugh.gif

I wish for nae wrinkles .
Melody
Oh so dae ah, only my need is greater than yours Catherine. unsure.gif
Catherine
Okay then Melody.......you've nae wrinkles noo, but aw the wrinkly skins puult ahint ye, ahv put it in a Backpack {Prada wan ye'll love it} that's stuck tae yer back fur ever mare.
It's goat seventythree compartments but they're aw fillt wae yer auld wrinkles bar wan, an that's wherr ye need tae keep yer straightjaiket when yer no yasin it awright pet?

Shoogle aboot furra bit till ye get yer balance, ye'll be fine wance it settles anna must say yer Prada backpack's the EXACT rid as yer Pradapeeryheels hen.....yer stunninstaunintherr laugh.gif

I wish for common sense.
Melody
Nae chance. unsure.gif
Catherine
Nae herm in askin laugh.gif
Java
Ah grant yer wish fur common sense Catherine, but ye lose two of yer other wans...smell and hearin....bonus - ye canny smell ma dinner or hear us aw laughin at ye aw day long...but ye canny smell the coffee or the roses or hear Melody's wee songs....an ye know whit they say, use it or lose it, so ye've naywhere tae balance yer readin glasses or hing yer earrings..

Ah wish ah could get doon fae this pulley...
karyn
ure wish is granted java ure doon off ra pully but theres a big handsome hunk in a lion cloth waving at u from the pully saying theres no way back java........ ohmy.gif
i wish i was a punk rocker with flowers in ma haaair !!!!
Davy's Girl
Your wish is granted-you are a punk rocker with a string of #1 hits ...however no one will talk to you or come near you because the flowers in your hair are stink weeds and you can't get rid of the smell. rolleyes.gif

My wish is to beat Davy,just once, at computer golf!
stuarty
Igrant you davysgirl to win the next round of golf but you must wash davys feet in rose petal water for a week after every game laugh.gif you win ok
my wish is to be a lot less trusting as a feel its my downfall as everybody is not as open book like myself
davyab44
Dear Stuarty,I don't feel it is a bad thing to be trusting,however it is sometimes a good idea to play your cards a wee bit closer to your chest until you find out the other persons intentions. I see no reason to mistrust someone until they give you a reason to do so.
Shari and I grant you the wish that you will be successful in this endeavour.The only problem is: further to our conversation in the chat room the other night the 3 of us have to get together in 2009.
Is it a deal, Linda?.....I know what you are like and so do others on the Boards. I hope a lot of people get to know you as the lovely person we know.

My wish is that some kind soul would airmail some rose petals as Shari is in dire need of them. Thank you! laugh.gif
karyn
davy ure wish is granted and shari has all the rose petals in the world, BUT!!!! the wee jealouse fairy rose petal throwers wont leave shari alone and keep pinching her bum and you have to fight them off....... wink.gif
davyab44
Well Karyn....thae wee fairy rose petal throwers will have tae go thru me tae get tae Shari's bum (an' ah must admit, it is lovely).
Only one problem Kazza.....you didnae make a wish fur yursel hen....go furrit wink.gif

P.S. Thanks furra rose petals.
karyn
ooops neether i did,
i wish for a cotton bud as ive an itch i cant reach !!!! ohmy.gif
stuarty
your wish is granted kazza a big or wee yin but no proding your nose with it and you must shout out every time u use it oh that was fantastic 3 times laugh.gif
karyn
why thankyou stuarty but wer is your wish??? smile.gif
Davy's Girl
I wish Stuarty would make a wish. Please make my wish come true. biggrin.gif
stuarty
a wish a could get a wee bit of calm in my brain
Melody
laugh.gif Don't we all Stuarty, don't worry your not alone in that wish.
Ah'll grant it for you if you grant it for me. Best Regards.
stuarty
oh granted and pass laugh.gif it on
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