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Archie Millar
Where's a' the biscuits gone??
Came in for a wee fly 'cuppa' affore that Melody tries tae make me work this efternoon --an a' youse buggers hiv been entertainin' a new woman (that's you Senga) an' a see the cupboards empty--a thought a' youse wimen went "up the toon" this mornin' fur the messages?? the only thing a could find wis an empty "Bailleys" bottle---seems tae me that oor Betty's an the rest o' youse wimen hiv hud a Friday night party
Whit ur you daein' in here? Get yersel intae work ah telt ye!
Naebody in! I'll jist sit here in peace and quiet or maybe ah should gie the windaes a wipe wonder if she'll notice?? laugh.gif
wee mags
melody I wis here a couple of minutes ago, jist before a got ready tae go tae chapel I jist stopped tae see who wis here nooa hiv tae get going aye her windas got awe messed up wae the soot fae the wee wummin next doors fire,she hissnae converted tae gas yet rolleyes.gif
ok Mags, enjoy chapel suppose I'll need tae find the chammy!
Archie Millar
It's Sunday!! an' am no workin' , so's a come up here fur a wee swally an' a find the place covered in soot an' stoor!!-time youse wumen gote the bloody carpet cleaner oot!--A see the press is empty ,nae booze! onlly an empty Baileys bottle. Bugger it am goin' roon the coarner tae the Horse Shoe!!!
Archie, your jist gettin' too fond o that Horseshoe Bar, think ah'll jist come wi ye...nuthin' happening here, that wummin next door keeps makin' a mess in here. Betty'll go mad when she comes in! Tippy Toes Archie....doon the sterrs and roon the coarner. Baileys and a wee Drambuie fur me. Dae ye think they've heard o Drambuie in the Horsehoe?
Right....That's the place soarted wacko.gif Ahv done the windaes, sterrs, hoovert, dusted, chinjed the beds, done the waashin an it's blawin gently in the non tropical baltic breeze oot oan the line....ran up tae the shoaps, goat supplies in, you name the chocolate biscuits, we've goat the booze, it's therr winkin.
Kettle's oan, fire's toastin wae the grate galeamin, slippers freshend up an lined up, Clyde 2 beltin oot a bitta ambience....
Ria ah no ye keep furgettin pet....Wid ye mind clearin up yer breakfast dishes, ahv tripped ower four empty baileys boatles awready, jist try an mind an waash them oot hen an pit them oot oan the step. This new milkman's the best, but he cannae deliver yer mornin boattle if ye don't put oot yesterdays empty awright.....
Anybudy heard fae betty yet? She's huvin some time of it eh. If yer lookin in betty we're here waitin an watchin the hoose for ye pet.
wee mags
I was talking to betty before I went to chapel ,she okay her pals man has picked up a wee bit seems like he got the last rights and he seems to be wee bit better and Lee wis looking for breakfast ,and was quickly told its 1 o,clock make yer ain!!! ha ha ha pure betty eh
och urn't yoo the sweetheart catherine daen aw that work aw by yersel a wee champion yi ur hen, awfy sorry aboot the empties ah'll keep it mind, trying tae open this medicine boattle here an' 'ave cut mah bliddy finger think ah'll sue mibbee ah cin get a case o' bailleys oot aff them dae think???, my my smells awfy nice an' fresh in here did yi use Fabreze catherine real nice smelly stuff, did Melody an' Archie go roon

my my yi did rerr joab in here catherine awe by yersel hen looks awfy nice, tryin' tae open this medicine boattle here and cut mah bliddy finger, think ah'll sue mite get a case of bailleys ootta them dae you think??? och it smells awfy nice in here catherine did yi use Fabreeze, did Melody an' Archie go roon tae the horseshoe think ah'll nip roon an huv a wee swalley wi them dae yi waant tae cum naebody here the noo, an awe the hoosewurk's dun, c'mon hen grab yir coat an' lets go. smile.gif
crap!!! trust me tae arrive when theres naebody hame Hmm yees aww at the pub? I'll try anither time then ,tarra the noo
Aw yis ur a rerr bunch aw neat,n,tidy well stocked up (an thats the drinks cabinet) see melody wis at m&s fur the bikkies good lassie if ever ah need a home help yir furst in line hen fur the joab biggrin.gif Aw ah wish life wis as easy and simple as it is in here. Still the beauty o it aw is ah cin come in here an yis ur aw therr . Each an every wan the best o tartan.Cripes heres Archie comin up the street an Ria close oan his heels (on all fours) must be shuttin time at the horseshoe ha ha ha xxxxx
Oh Betty tell her tae get up she's gettin' me a showin' up! ohmy.gif
Marion Dougan
ahmmmm gled a didnae go wae Ria an Archie, a knew they were in fur a night o it. You know mw... like ta ken whit am dain. I'll hae a wee cuppa an a penquin, thanks Melody fur the biscuits, sorry a missed ye's aw, see ye efter
Jist leave they 2 tae sleep it aff catherine turn doon the wireless we'll no get peace if they wake up an ah waant tae enjoy the peace an solitude , this is certainly the place tae make wan smile biggrin.gif yis ur aw darlins xxxxxxx
Don't suppose you've had any long lost visitors chappin' at the door Betty?? Or any wee phone calls from people from the dim and distant past?? Maybe he'll come back at the bells!! dae ye think?? smile.gif That wid be good!! ah'd like that!!
No melody had a few messages via my sister but she told him i was'nt interested, it was a laff at the time (still is) you've no idea the stick ah get aboot this , goin now to watch corrie maybe we'll hiv visitors later on in here would like to hear fae some o the old ,gang who used to come in regular an find oot how they're aw gettin oan rolleyes.gif
See you,.... how wur you no interested....ah wanted a wee romance to think aboot...that wid huv been lovely! How wur ye no interested anyhow?? Ye might huv gave him a chance poor man!! smile.gif Och gon Betty fur me...gie him a phone...see whit happens!
Ah might no be wan o' the 'auld gang' but that disnae mean tae say that ah like tae come in here and see aw this stoor aboot the place!
Fur ony favour, has nane o' yez ony shame?

*ties oan the turban ower ma rollers and gets the peenie oan*

Right, ah'm away tae get the cleaning gear!


wid somebuddy cm'ere and get these spiders webs ooto here?
Oh Mammy, Daddy, ah saw somehin move!!

*bitin ma nails*

Oh my Goad...........

C'here youse lot...dis onybuddy know who 'is fella is?
Oh thank goad..and her wis me thoat it wis a rat, tae!
That'll be Archie Millar lying under the couch, fae the last party we hud! laugh.gif Morning all!
Archie Millar
Whit party???--naebody told me there wis a do goin' on last night! A turned up yisterday an' the hoose wis empty, so's a hud a wee look in the cupboard an' there wis a hauf bottle o' Baileys so a hud a slug or two an' a don't mind o' anythin' else efter that
Yer lucky yer no deid, Archie!

ah wis openin a new boattul ae brasso the ither day and spilt it...the only hing ah could pit it intae wizzis Baileys boattul thit wis lyin aboot...ah hink ye must've drunk THAT!!
ah'm shair naebuddy wid leave a hauf empty boattul ae onythin aboot must've thoat yer luck had chinged right enuff! LOL
Archie...Ye drank Ria's breakfast ya auld goat, you've had it again!!
Mary, yer in the wrang hoose again hen, moan back next door an leave the next door neebur alane pet.
See....look at the difference pet, yer therrs yer slippers aw nice an freshed up fur therrs the kettle...oan ye go, ye no the drill...
Ahm jist waitin fur big Al tae draap aff the evenin supplies, gied him an davy Archie's tin when he wisnae lookin....
Melody will be gettin in fae work at ony minute, moan we'll hide her slippers again an get her aw confused....ah love that wee gemme, oh an here, shove mags's alang wae them laugh.gif
Right where ur they? Och come oan, ah'm tired ah've had aw they weans aw day drivin' me nuts! Wher did yez pit them this time? Yez ur worse than the weans! Betty..tell them!! unsure.gif
Marion Dougan
Melody, it wis that Catherine, you know whit like she is wub.gif
Cauld....Caulder.....oh haud oan, Gettin hoater ......hoater......Yer bum must be burnin Melody, YER SITTIN OAN THEM !!!!!!! laugh.gif
I'll bum burning ye, ya cheeky article! Suppose ye think ah'll put the kettle oan as well! Well ma bums burnin' ah canny! ohmy.gif
Hoi you stoap yer grassin Loobyloo laugh.gif
Get the sounds oan Rena, ah kin feela soft shoe shuffle comin oan....trrrra ta ta ta taaaahhhh sawweeeep, trrrrra ta ta ta taaaahhhhh sawweeeep....
Gimme that old soft shoe, I said that old soft shoe, a one a two
Aw naw ah'm too tired..... unsure.gif You kerry oan withoot me Catherine....ah'll catch ye up.
Scrap the soft shoe shuffle Melody...sno keepin me waarm enuf.
Okay, quick gless a milk an off we go wae the Charleston tae get the blood flowin...Black bottom da da dadum...Baltic ootside by the way, sombudy waantS tae tell that weather man ANNUF!!!! laugh.gif
Everything today is thoroughly modern......... black bottom.da da da da da..don't know the words...Love they wee dresses and head thingies! Fringes, the swing at the hips, think ah'll go tae school like that the morra! My name is Tahlulla la la la la..... don't know that wan either. Whit wull we dae noo??
Ahm jist jumpin intae anither shower Melody tae try an heat up, ever get yon cauld ankles..well ahv goat them the day.
That Geoffs walkin aboot in a t'shirt an berr feet an aw {bolk}
You haud the fort pet tae a come back, the fires lookin awfy nervous ower therr, go pit anither wee shovel in it while yer waitin , oan ye go hen, you're great at daen it laugh.gif
Right go an heat yersel up, they cauld ankles are awful I'll stoke up the fire...don't you worry pal! Tell Geoff tae get his socks oan.. he'll get a chill..are you two on holiday the day?
He's away oot the door wae a perr a sannies oan Melody...Ah give up, nae wunner ma weans are mental!!!
This is March brekk fae school, times like this ehm gaaledd one didn't put one's monkey intae private {we only get a week aff, private get two}..
Snaw's threatenin oot therr, Karens up the night, Geoffs oot later oan, ahm slow cookin ma ribs the noo in the oven {no ma personal ribs, ribs tae eat ah mean}
Go type in an pick a daen that masel laugh.gif
Ok, smile.gif I'll come back and tell ye wher ah'm away tae! Ribs sound good, yer gettin' tae be a rerr wee cook, did that Mags gie ye some tips? :
Ah liked that Casa Ida, go and have a look, see when ah win the lottery, ah'll buy ye wan or two if wan's no enough!! Can ye imagine, how the other half live eh! laugh.gif Ur we only get it fur a holiday ur fur keeps?
Oh wur daen the squatters rights Melody, nae probs hen...Jist tell them ye waant it fur a week an then jist don't leave...folks dae it aw the time laugh.gif
Ah think mine wis called Paradissimo...ah kin rent wan of the two apartments, or jist take ower the whole joint that sleeps eighteen, think ahd be better gaun fur that wan....jist incase y'no!
We could huv some parties in there Catherine, mon we'll jist go fur it, dae ye think if we aw clubbed thegether? Naw that Archie's tin ...we'd never get in opened withoot gunpowder!Maybe we could sell sumbudy tae the slave trade, naw that's illegal noo anaw. laugh.gif
Thanks, Catherine, hen.
it's havin birthdays dizzit tae ye, ye forget where ye ur and where yur supposed tae be annat.
Is this the chair ye were talking aboot?
whit's this strap hinging doon?
disnae look too good...we'd better cut it aff, d'ye no hink?

Looks like they restrainer hings they yased tae yase. Thur awfie strict oan thum noo so we'd better get rid o' it afore onybuddy sees it and hinks we're gaunnae yase it oan sumbuddy!

Ye were gaunnae yase it oan sumbuddy??

whit d'ye mean ah wisnae supposed tae hear ye?

Ach yer needin a brekk, hen, ah hink ye've goat cabin fever.
Melody, have ye goat that villa fixed up hen?

My, that's a rerr cuppa...noo, if nothing else...being confined for the lang winter dis teach ye tae make a fine brew!
Well I wish someone would make me a cup of tea because I really need it.
My printer is not working so I contacted Epson and as it is still under warranty they said I had to take it to their repair shop in Pollokshaws Road. So I set out just after 10'o'clock and went into town. I made my way to Jamaica St. thinking any bus driver could tell me what bus I had to get!!!!!!!!!!! boy was I so wrong no one knew, then I struck it lucky with the 6th bus driver, he told me to get a 44 bus. It went along part of Pollokshaws Rd then turned into Langside Ave. I had to get of and walk back the way. The next bus I got on went up Victoria Road, back off then walked back to Pollokshaws Road, I ended up walking what I am sure was about 2 miles to 1437 Pollokshaws Rd.
Waited while the printer was tested, was given another one, so set off home. A bus comes along and I got on and asked the driver if this bus would take me into the city centre, he said only on a Thursday. I got off the bus, turned round and looked at the driver and he burst out laughing then the penny dropped, this is Thursday. Got back on the bus, got my ticket and had to walk to the back of a full bus with everyone laughing, seeing the funny side of it I laughed with them.
Got into town and had to wait 20mins. for my bus home. The bus gets to Cumbernauld Road then broke down. As it is a half hour service we had to wait until the next bus came along, as the electrics on the bus would not work so the driver could not call the garage for another bus. Finally got off the bus, it was raining and a wind nearly blowing me off my feet. It was after 2'o'clock when I got home, wet, cold and hungry.
The new printer is working fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm still in recovery. wub.gif
Oh! here Heather hen, sit yersel doon, and hiv wan of my wee bootleg Voddies.Will soon warm ye up.Thats a helluva trip tae get a printer fixed-Next time ye need to go, tae a faraway place,why no check the bus timetables and routes oan the net.!!!! rolleyes.gif
Morning Jimmy and all, well you know how ah'm the roving reporter in Glasgow, well jist thought ah'd let ye know that we've got heavy snow this mornin' great big blobs rushin past ma windaes, it's me next tae go oot as well. Dae ye think ah could jist 'dog it' and hide in here? Wis that 'Aye'!! a heard. 'Naw' aw right well, ah'll jist go oot. Oh Mammy Daddy! laugh.gif
Poor Heather, I know the feelin' it's mortifying when a bus load of Glaswegians has a good laugh at you! Never mind you can dae it tae them next time, hope ye enjoyed yer tea! laugh.gif
Archie Millar
A hivnae been doon the dunny this week---it must hiv been that "Brasso" Mary put in the Baileys bottle!-(really av'e been under the weather wi side effects o' ma treatment ower the last two weeks never mind that's it finished fur a wee while)-A willnae
be drinkin' anymer o' that 'stuff' in the press!
aw Heather,,,whit a day right enough..BUT ye did get wan..well done:)

ah reckon you should maybe pit that wee bit aboot the driver doon oan that forum aboot the bad bus drivers in Glasgow cos ah reckon that's a good story and wid make a nice change fae the horror stories doon there.

Archie, you siddoon here, son, and pit yer feet up. Ye'll be gled tae be feenisht wae yer treatment for a wee while though, ah'll bet>
Noo see when ah turn ma back? dont you be going looking in that press for the brasso...ah know how much ye liked it lastyt time, nae maitter whit ye say!

*wonders if that'll keep him affae the grog fur a wee while*

Melody..away ootside and tell that snaw yer hauf wae through March and it's time ate stoap!

Eh, Jimmy??
did ye no see me here when ye were dolin oot that vodka?? dizzit make ye blind annaw?
Check a bus route prior to travelling!!!!!!!!! don't be silly jimmyd, I'm a female after all.
Thanks for the vodka, fairly warmed me up.

When I told my son about my terrible day, he just shook his head and reminded me that a few days earlier he told me he had a day off next week and would run me over to Pollokshaws.
No sympathy there.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll take the advice you sent in the e-mail Heather.......but it was good for a wee chuckle anyway.I've already got the bus shedule thanks. smile.gif
Heather, whit's this?
yer wanting Vodka AND sympathy??
Archie see you, ye'll dae anythin' yae oot o that dunny, but did ye see ye've got a new helper! Seriously I hope your feeling a lot better now and enjoying a wee drink, the treatments must be difficult, take care. Noo hurry up and get back tae yer work! laugh.gif
Right you lot heres a coupla bottles of free samples,Vodka,Whisky,Irish Cream,oh an this wan is rerr Butterscotch Schnapps,tae die fur .
Am away aff tae Helensburgh,tae spend the weekend wi, ma wee man Jackson!! Wid be magic if it wis THE Helensburgh!!!! biggrin.gif
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