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TX4
A 5 Year old says to His Mother"Maw,Whit's that auld wrinkly thing My Granda sometimes takes oot"?
The Mother replies,"It's Yir Granny Son"
tombro
That is brilliant !

Tombro laugh.gif laugh.gif
Rab
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"

"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."

"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"

"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.

Rab
Each Friday night after work, Billy Ray would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Billy Ray's neighbors were Catholic....
and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The Priest came to visit Billy Ray and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study, Billy Ray attended Mass.....and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him,

He said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."

Billy Ray's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison again filled the neighborhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and as he rushed into Billy Rays yard clutching a rosary preparing to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Billy Ray, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:

"You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a fish.”

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Rab
Sorry - last 2 jokes I put in wrong place.
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tombro
Rab,

Why not just open up a new topic for your jokes and then your Alzheimer's won't come into contention?

Tombro laugh.gif laugh.gif
Rab
QUOTE (tombro @ 14th Sep 2012, 12:27pm) *
Rab,

Why not just open up a new topic for your jokes and then your Alzheimer's won't come into contention?

Tombro laugh.gif laugh.gif


Tom: First time I make a mistake in yonks and you come up with big words like 'contention'! Nae wonder I get confused! blush.gif
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