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Rab-oldname
Hahahahaheeheeehheeehhee hooooooohooooo!
stuarty
he Rab Acan park better than that laugh.gif
glasgow lass
biggrin.gif cant top that stuarty.
wee davy
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wee davy
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wee davy
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Think he needs a bit more practice for this year!
wee davy
And continuing our weather theme!

Snow Banks
wee davy



SOME LIGHT RELIEF!
wee davy
After a bit of xmas shopping in town, a couple return to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station and make a full report. Then, a policeman drives them back to the car park to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. (I know, a bit incredulous, but there we are). To their amazement, the car has been returned.

There is an envelope on the windscreen with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, "So sorry I took your car, but my wife was having a baby prematurely and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience, and by way of compensation, here are two tickets for the show at the Town Hall tonight"

Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from through out the house, from top to bottom. And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my kids through university somehow, don't I?"
Rab-oldname
DO YOU THINK ITS GOING TO RAIN DEER?
wee davy
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For the blonde, who has everything, this year!
Rab-oldname
You MUST wach this - the best laugh today!
wee davy
A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards.

She says to the clerk, “Can I have 50 Christmas stamps?”

The teller says, “Certainly madam. What denomination would you like?”


The woman says, “God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 6 C of E, 6 Methodist, 10 Lutheran, 6 C of S, 6 Baptist and 10 non-denominational”


wee davy
HAHAHA HOHOHO HEE HEE HEE - I'm the laughing gnome, and you can't catch me!

good idea, furra bitta cheer, rab.

nice one.

davy
Heather
Turn your sound up and click on each deer. smile.gif


http://www.icq.com/greetings/cards/5621447/k9ks1rls/view/
wee davy
Thx Heather - our first of the year!

davy
TeeHeeHee
I just had to post this laugh.gif
My sister in Glasgow sent me this picture of her wee grandson Aaron; Santa's little helper tongue.gif

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glasgow lass
biggrin.gif Great stuff everyone, and babys furst christmas, so cute Tee biggrin.gif
angel
T.... he is a beautiful child, lots and lots of cuddles for him. biggrin.gif
Dunvegan
QUOTE (wee davy @ 2nd Dec 2010, 08:51pm) *
After a bit of xmas shopping in town, a couple return to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station and make a full report. Then, a policeman drives them back to the car park to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. (I know, a bit incredulous, but there we are). To their amazement, the car has been returned.

There is an envelope on the windscreen with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, "So sorry I took your car, but my wife was having a baby prematurely and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience, and by way of compensation, here are two tickets for the show at the Town Hall tonight"

Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from through out the house, from top to bottom. And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my kids through university somehow, don't I?"

This actually happened in Melbourne when I was living there!
Dunvegan
Rab-oldname
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Rab-oldname
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Rab-oldname
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TeeHeeHee
A Christmas Laugh


The Rockin' Rowdies


Girls please don't throw your knickers onto stage
Rab-oldname
Tomi. I got this from my boys the other day suggesting that I don't give up my training for 2012 as I did so well in Beijing! You might as well have a laugh too.
No sniggering now!
TeeHeeHee
Y' certainly made a splash there Rab laugh.gif
angel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5tfvK-A4vw

some carols..... biggrin.gif
glasgow lass
QUOTE (TeeHeeHee @ 16th Dec 2010, 01:09am) *
Y' certainly made a splash there Rab laugh.gif

merr like a big drip. laugh.gif
Onyir
Right, when Ah let ye back in, you'll sit in yer seat and no move unless Ah tell ye. Understand?
Rab-oldname
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If he does that one more time ................ !
wee davy
An actual answer to a HISTORY exam question

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TeeHeeHee
Nice tae see ye kept yer auld school jotters wee Davy. laugh.gif laugh.gif
wee davy
oh i wish THEE,... i wish lol
wee davy
lol i just noticed the latest new member is andypandy - hope that looby lou disnae come oan as well - it'll be bedlam in here laugh.gif

welcome andy - nice tae see yer still bobbin along smile.gif
Tam blair
QUOTE (TeeHeeHee @ 12th Jan 2011, 11:13pm) *
Nice tae see ye kept yer auld school jotters wee Davy. laugh.gif


Aye Tee They maybe gave him his jotters. laugh.gif
gerryscot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyfSRq8Uvrs

Becky call for Demolitition of school Very funy laugh.gif biggrin.gif
gerryscot
Two young guys waitng to go into court


Wee angry guy comes into the cells and said something to his mate that went like this:

Who the fk is Arthur David

I dont know, why?

Lawyer told me that grass has been down to see Arthur David to give sworn statements against us

(One wee guy breaks away from conversation and shouts to the police officer that opens the cell doors hence the name) Haw turnkey, Haw (starts kicking cell door)

Turnkey: Aye whit is it?

A want tay see ma lawyer

Have you been up to court yet?

Naw

Well you will see him there soon enough so stop kicking the fkn door.

(wee guy turns back from door muttering wanker under his breath and resumes conversation)

You got yer charge sheet yet?

Naw

If its an indictment am fkd

What else did the lawyer say?

Coz we have been on the run it wont look good fur bail

Whit? We never knew about the fkn thing or else we would huv been back afore noo

Aye save it fur the trial an ah suppose it was only me then?

What ye mean only fkn you? You brought that Arthur fkn David intay it anaw so whit ye oan about noo?

(Door opens and turnkey looks at the one banging the door asks his name and gives out indictment then repeats the same with other accused)

The two men stand in silence reading a two page indictment from car theft to assault and att murder of a police officer by driving a vehicle at him.

Fkn shite man if ah was going to knock him doon a could huv but ah swerved oot his fkn road

Look mate the copper ran oot the road intay the road if ye get me

Aye, so....

Cant see an Arthur David on the papers and the lawyer said that was the most important part of that grass going to see him

Whit fur?

Ah told ye to gee a fkn another sworn statement

(door opens with turnkey nodding to the two and said right boys thats you going up noo)
But we huvnay seen oor lawyers yet

Turnkey: Thats no oor job son c'mon

It turns out that the Arthur David was not a person but a legal term for sworn statement as in “Affidavit” and pronounces in Glaswegian as Affur David or Arthur David.
Rab-oldname
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glasgow lass
laugh.gif Poor wumin a know jist how she feels,,,,,,, tongue.gif
tombro
Half your luck, GL !

Tombro laugh.gif laugh.gif
penny dainty
laugh.gif laugh.gif Andy! , Looby! , teddys next.
Dunvegan
A woman takes her duck into the vet. " My duck is sick" says she.
The vet puts it on the table examines it and declares,"Yon duck is deed, slice a' breed, gone.
" How do you know says the distressed lady. " I'm a vet and if I say it is deed' then deed as a duck can be, it is"
"I want a second opinion" "Fair enough" says the vet "I'll get you wan"
He calls in a labrador which sniffs 'roun, barks at the duck , shakes its heid and walks off. Next in comes his cat, sniffs the duck walks all round it' looks at it from every angle, shakes its heid and walks off.
"Weell are ye happy now says the vet. " Aye a suppose so . how much will that be?"
"$250" says the vet. " $250 jist tae tell me ma ducks deed, thats a disgrace"
"Normaly" says the vet, " If you belived me in the first place it wid have been $20, but with the Lab report and the Cat scan it's $250".
Rab-oldname
'DIDN'T YOU SEE ME CROSSING???

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Rab-oldname
HahahahahahahahahaCLICKhahahahahahahahahahahaha
Dunvegan
True story just got from a mate in Canadia;
Elderly gent George Phillips from Meridian Mississippi, gets woken by his wife and told there is someone in the garage. George goes for a look and sure enough there is a crew in his garage knockin' off his goods. George phones the cops and is told that there are no patrols available at this time and they will send some one when they are available.
George hangs up, waits 30secs., phones back and says, "dont bother coming I just shot them all" In two min. there are 6 squad cars a helicopter and a swat team at his front door!!!
The culprits were all arrested and the head cop, storms up to George and says "I thought you said you'd shot them all?"
And George says" I thought you said there was no one available to come and help me."
Heather
laugh.gif laugh.gif I wonder what answer the head cop gave to the quick thinking man.
TeeHeeHee
laugh.gif You gotta laff laugh.gif

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9GxN7tezds...;feature=relmfu
benny
QUOTE (Dunvegan @ 23rd Jan 2011, 02:28am) *
True story just got from a mate in Canadia; . . . . .



I'm afraid your "true story" ain't, Dunvegan. It had all the hallmarks of the usual internet hoax that's been going the rounds for years, and that, indeed, is what it turns out to be.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/response.asp
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