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Poor Glasgow! Only a few days after having to fight off claims by an English historian that the city is a "state-subsidised backwater", a questionable new survey, published in the Sunday Herald, has claimed that Glaswegians are the most miserable people in the UK.

The nationwide poll of 2000 people claims that Glaswegians mope around at the top of the league for winter blues, just ahead of the citizens of Newcastle and Sheffield.

Researchers point to the high rainfall in the west of Scotland, compared to the east, as one reason Glaswegians are more miserable; the same survey found Edinburgh to be one of the cheeriest places in the UK. Another factor apparently making Glaswegians more miserable is the lack of daylight during the winter months, compared to cities further south.

The organisers of the poll – the Canary Islands Tourist Board – suggested (competely objectively, of course) that the best way for Glaswegians to beat the winter blues was to jet off to a sunshine break ... preferably to the Canary Islands, perhaps?

A wee video to cheer you up ... or not! tongue.gif

Click to view attachment

Whit??????????? I live in the South East of England and I often have to - nay, NEED to - escape to my hometown for a good laugh and some friendly people. The banter in Glasgow is second to none. I can have a good old friendly natter with anyone from the Southern General surgeon I had to see about my mother recently to the wee wumman standing at the bus stop outside. When I strike up a conversation with folk at a bus stop here they look at me as if I'm mad. My conversations with taxi drivers, shop assistants, waiters, etc. in Glasgow always make me laugh out loud!!!!
A load of tosh, this is!
What, the Glasgow that laughs at itself with 'Chewing the Fat' and 'Still Game'?

How does London see itself represented on TV? The gloomfest of Eastenders.
Mervyn Drage
QUOTE (billtkd @ 31st Oct 2010, 07:30pm) *
What, the Glasgow that laughs at itself with 'Chewing the Fat' and 'Still Game'?

How does London see itself represented on TV? The gloomfest of Eastenders.

I like Glasgow and her people.

Like any big city in Britain, Glasgow has its fair share of social problems and poverty.

But the City is vibrant and exciting.

I agree, Eastenders portrays a false vision of working class life in London.

Helpmaboab, I know what you mean about talking to people and getting no response.

One time in America my sister and her husband still had a few days to work before stopping for their holidays, so I was on my own.

I went out a walk one morning and when I passed anyone I smiled at them and said 'good morning', they looked at me as if I was daft. I got no response from anyone.

At least in Glasgow if you smile at someone, nine times out of ten they will smile back and pass a remark,' nice day, terrible day'.
I have been a Glasgow taxi driver for the last 35 years and I can honestly say that the Glasgow people are the salt of the earth I have had all sorts in the back of my cab and the working class are the best of the lot for example you will get a wee old wummin with her shopping and say the fare comes to 3.20 and they think nothing of giving you a fiver and telling you to keep the change sometimes you get the half boiled toffs to the west end or Bearsden and you get what we call in the trade a berry that means the bare meter and no tip.

glasgow lass
There is no friendlier people in the wurld as Glasgow folk, there jist isn't. My furst time on a public bus after being away for yrs was such an exciting experience, only because of the great people at the bus stop who tryed to help me figure out the currency, I asked one person how much the bus fare was and within a minute six of them had their nose in ma purse trying to help me out, another time on the bus the driver said awk dont wurry hen aboot the money,,,,,jist sit doon! Now that sounds like my Glasgow, just love it ! laugh.gif laugh.gif
Rob Rattray
Glaswegians moping? what trash! Then what else could one expect from folk whose land is named after 'DOGS'
Whats more, could never shut my grandfather up at times, and he was from Bridgeton!
Hi, all.

That's a load o' auld hoarsies' dung, if ye ask me!

Click to view attachment

Castle Rock was chosen centuries ago for a secure hilltop fort. Impregnable to attack and easy to defend with solid foundations. It was a fine and sunny June day. The lads were strolling on Princes Street Gardens with their wives. They had been warned not to give the ladies a showing up and to be on their best behaviour. They had crossed a small bridge and were walking along a pathway below the sheer face of the rock on which the Castle is built;

‘Look at the size o' yon rhubarb, Phemie, ye could make a load o' pies wi' yon,’ said Jessie.

‘A load o' pies, Jessie, a load o' pies, Jessie,’ said Phemie.

‘Loads o' auld hoarsies'’ dung, Jessie,’ said Josie.

‘You button yer lip, Josie,’ said Jessie.

The two happy couples sat down on a bench in the Gardens, people-watching and enjoying the sandwiches that Phemie had prepared, while gazing up at the magnificent Castle;

‘Josie, wis there a dungeon in the Castle, where they kept a' their prisoners?’ asked Francie.

‘Francie, knowing that ye would probably have a wee history question for me today, I have delved into my all-encompassing archives and have come up with the answer. Are you ready for your lesson, Francie?’ asked Josie.

‘Sure, Josie, sure, Josie,’ said Francie.

The Gardens were buzzing with people of all nationalities. Two little boys from one of the adjoining benches had heard Josie say that he was going to tell a story. A small crowd had gathered as Josie began;

‘The Scottish soadjers were haudin' a troop o' English soadjers captive. Employing them tae clean oot the hoarsies’ stables. The manure emanatin' frae yon big Clydesdales wis transported under cover o' darkness, because o' the smell, in a big wheel-barra' an' taken tae the Port o' Leith. It was put oan a boat tae be transported under its ain steam, to Dungkirk in France. The manure wis used tae grow yon enormous French runner-beans an' onions. It wis the joab o' two big burly Scots Guardsmen tae wheel the manure tae the docks at two o’clock every mornin'.

One o' the English soadjers decided tae try tae escape. He reckoned that if he could get tae Dungkirk, then he could easily get a ferry back hame tae Kent. He hid himself underneath the manure in the wheel-barra'. The Guardsmen came oot at two o’clock, they lit up a fag and then yin said tae the ither; 'feel the bliddy weight o' that barra', Jock. I don’t feel like wheelin' that load a' the way tae Leith. Let's dump it o'er the side.'
They baith grabbed a hold o' a shaft, took a runner at the battlements, an' tipped a' the dung o'er the wall.'

‘Is that a fact, Josie, is that a fact, Josie?’ asked Francie.

‘A brilliant idea, Josie, a brilliant idea, Josie,’ said Phemie.

‘That's a load o' auld hoarsies'’ dung, Josie, and you know it,’ said Jessie.

‘Well, if ye wid jist let me finish this history lesson. It's said that if ye come doon here at two o’clock every mornin', ye'll hear the rumblin' o' a wheel-barra' an' the sound o' an English soadjer screaming, … Oh no, shit,’ said Josie.

Catch you later, perhaps.


I've always found Glasgow to be the friendliest city on earth. I can't imagine who considers Glaswegians to be miserable and moping. They've always been friendly, helpful and humorous as far as I'm concerned.

Ive just come back after visiting home, and stayed in Inverclyde, But was in and out OF Glasgow central everyday, and what a great cheerful week it was, best Ive felt for couple years as ive had health problems and I went Deaf, But you know that week back home in glasgow.


So those who did vote yes, I think tey probably have home problems haha I joke....But I dont know what your saying, must be individual thing..

And Copper Lamp is still standing, Just changed name to Tavern....

Well just my point of view..

wee davy
QUOTE (edwardo @ 31st Oct 2010, 08:11pm) *
I have been a Glasgow taxi driver for the last 35 years and I sometimes get the half boiled toffs to the west end or Bearsden and you get what we call in the trade a berry that means the bare meter and no tip.

If ye get a fare frae MILL N GAVY or back, dy'e no get a PG Tip? (Wan ai davy's quickie true stories here - Mr Tommy Cooper allegedly used tae gie taxi drivers a T bag wherever he went - oot ai his tap pocket) laugh.gif Just like that!
Coming from the part of Govan I was brought up in I can honestly say that the third world conditions I endured would would have made the angels in Paradise {not Parkhied you idiot} miserable. However the humour of the Glaswegians was second to none. I recall at age 9 in Dunvegan st. discussing with Jackie Patterson what we would do if we had a millyin pounds. "I'd buy 240 millyin penny carmels" said Jackie. Demonstrating his ability with pre decimal mathematics as well as typical Glasgow humour. No the conditions were hard and often miserable but we rose above that. No we soared above that.

My father, he was thinking of the time the famous Arthur Askey was booed of the stage at the Metropole, always said to make an Englishman laugh all you had to do was dress up as a woman. To make a Glaswegian laugh, you had to be good as everyone was a natural comedian. And to be a natural comedian being miserable just doesn't add up. Who listens to the English any way? That is a symptom of infectious terminal misery creeping into the lives of nominaly well adjusted Glasgow heid cases.
Glasgow people miserable and cheerless????? What a load of old keech!!

When I read that Edinburgh was considered as "one of the cheeriest places in the UK" I realised that they must have asked 2000 people in Edinburgh City Chambers.
biggrin.gif You just have to read the answers here to know that The Canary Islands is away wae the Canarys!! Glasgow humour is second to none and we laugh in the face of adversity.Like the saying Glasgow IS miles Better! biggrin.gif
And what would my half-german, half-glaswegian son say to this -
DUMMKOPF say in Germany. No Translation needed (hopefully)e gets into Glasgow Airport Terminal his heart just opens up, and he loves the patter. Everone is so friendly, ready for a blether or the quip Big Man (he`s 2.2 metres tall - well over 6 feet tall).

Tell all these no-nos to go an beil thir heid and eat a canary!!!

AWRA BEST fur Glesca!!

I think Glasgow people are very warm and very funny with a great sense of humour....I have lived abroad most of my life and always enjoy meeting Glasgow people, and come to Glasgow to visit family and friends whenever I can... they are the salt of the earth..
I haven't seen Glasgow in fifty years come December but, since joining this forum, I'd like to say thank you to all of the wonderful Glaswegians who have shared their lives with me !

I've been rediscovering my Glasgow roots from the other side of the world and the people on this forum, and other forums, have been so helpful !

Sure, people will try to put us Glaswegians down but we're strong, we're honest and we couldn't really give a thit about what others think.

For, we arra people !

Tombro tongue.gif tongue.gif
Old Sailor
I left Glasgow over sixty years ago after serving four years in the Navy and three memorable years at Glasgow University and I am fortunate for my good health at eighty-six which allowed me to visit again earlier this year as I have many times before. Glasgow is the friendliest place on earth. With my Canadian wife we travel to many places and I can also speak for her, who doesn't understand "the patter" all the time but can certainly smile at the body language. Although I am always happy to be back I am also saddened by the fact that fewer and fewer of my family and friends are there to greet me so it's nice to be surrounded by happy and humourous Glaswegions. God willing I'll be back!
I think my old home town of Glasgow is the friendliest place on earth. And as for the east west bit with Edinburgh, I will tell you a wee story about my youth. When I lived in Glasgow as a youngster, my dad used to buy old cars every summer to go on holiday with and sell them at the end of summer( usually for a profit). They were always breaking down usually with the 4 of us in the car. I remember breaking down in Glasgow and my Mum out pushing to try and get it going, she didnt push long when a bunch of Glasgow boys came round the corner, put her in the car and pushed us till she started ( quite a distance). The same thing happened in Edinburgh, and this group of men just walked on by. Glaswegians are the salt of the earth. Loved seeing Ricky again, hes such a miss at new years.
Imagine anybody saying that we're miserable. Only on every third Monday if it's bucketin' doon and ye canni see where yer gaun for the rain. laugh.gif Naw we're no miserable, we canny afford tae be we have to keep cheery, ah mean that's whit keeps us gaun. laugh.gif
I am stitting here laughing ath this daft claim, It would be my guess the people who were asked have never lived/been in Glasgow.
One thing for sure us Glasgow folk have and that is a great sense of humor.. biggrin.gif , If You look on this board , there still over 7,000 members who still call it home and I doubt if it was that bad it would still be home.
I took Mary over to England from here by car and she quickly hated it ... culture shock, After a week of Lincolnshire and Blackpool visitin' my kids on both coasts we left for Scotland. On arrival in Glasgow I pulled up outside one of Glasgow's finest hotels to make up for her bad time in England but she wouldn't get out of the car. Judging by the size of the windows, the rooms would be high-ceilinged and she didn't want that. At the end we went to the airport and were bookin' into the Trust House Forte out there and she's tellin' me nothing over the third floor (she doesn't like heights) suite of rooms (she is claustrophobic) and access to the stairs (frightened of gettin' trapped in lifts) and I'm repeatin' this to the well presented gentleman on the reception who's welcoming smile is ready to crack into a laugh at any minute and the girl behind him has discretely turned her back.
"Why are they laughing?"
"Because they're Glaswegiens".
When we were leaving to drive back home, the guy on reception came round from his side of the desk and put his arms around Mary saying, "Haste ye back".
Glaswegiens won the right to be miserable but it's no' in their nature. When I broke my hip early on this year I'm being whisked into the hospital in the back of an ambulance and between bouts of pain I'm laughin' ma hied aff wi' a German paramedic who just wants to talk about his time in Glasgow.
We were still laughin together as I was being wheeled into ER with everyone lookin' on baffled as I was still givin' it aaahs and ouches in between.
Away 'n bile yer heid's definitely the right response to the above claim. Anyone who knows us knows what we're like.
Went to a concert in Edinburgh about five years ago.........a superb girl called Kate Rusby with her exiting band containing John McCusker. The audience reaction to this superb vibrant music was bloody miserable.........
Spoke to a friend from Glasgow the following day and told him about the staid response. His reaction :
"There's mair fun at a Glesga stabbing than at an Edinburgh weddin".......

Kind of says it all I guess !!
A Glaswegian by adoption I wasn't born there but love the place . I was homesick whenever away from the dear green place and NOW I can't visit as housebound in the sticks

Never missed a chance to chat at bus stops, wherever and the laughs we had are never to be forgotten. The Glasgow Taxi cab drivers are legion as I had to use them often and the help and care and pure goodness of heart should earn each and every one a medal .

I have gone OFF soothmoothers as they just don't understand what it is they are missing.

One elderly nurse asked me "How can you be so cheerful in this condition?" I replied without thinking "Its a birth defect ...don't worry about it " Her face was a picture.
Who are the people who come oot wie this **** the same bampots that say that skinny girl cole is a singer an an national treasure jasus when i heard that wan i thought thank jasus ahm a jock.

A scottish female national treasure Margo Mcdonald ,anywies back on thread we glaswegians are noted world wide fer oor patter ,you ever sit in a boozer wie 5 or 6 butchers or shipyard workers givin oot wie the patter trust me you better hiv yer nappy on or yer gonna end up floating oot the door tongue.gif a close second tae us are the scouse who are the funniest guys ah ever sodgered wie.

These claims always originate in engurland that second class nation who had the good fortune tae live near us, crap like this and the other claim about the tight Scot iwies get's my back up ,embra where a smile is as hard tae find as a good word aboot glegsga aff any o the queer hawks who inhabit this dismal dreech soul less chantypot o a city wink.gif believe me i know whit ahm talkin aboot ,wan september week end mah darlin sweet talked me intae spending a day there ,honest tae jasus a spent a better night wie bread an water an listenin tae a leonard cohen lp on the turntable.

Some clown rates them above us in this census which ses it aw aboot it ,loonies ,asylum troops lmao.
Oops ah wisnae born in glesga worse luck but came here as a young 7 year auld heilan laddy bein born on a wee isle called Luing, on the west coast but when i was asked at any time where ye fae jock ad say glesga man proud as a bluddy peacock.
If there is anything I have always missed during my living in Canada since 1953, is the Glasgow wit and humour....It still exists, much to my enjoyment on trips back to my beloved Glasgow. And you dont get
humour and wit frae a grumpy soul.
eddie mccallum
i have lived in england for 35 years but i try to get back up as often as the wife allows !

in fact me and the missus have just returned from a weekend in glasgow to see the old firm game.

i defy anyone to look down buchanan street on a saturday afternoon and not be impressed.

my english pals have been to glasgow with me several times and they love it. we are planning a weekend in december. in the city in england where i live, i personally would stay in for a month just to save enough money for a single night in glasgow.
Auldbutcher,would that be the land of the Heederum hadderrum ho?
Whit wacko.gif blink.gif
Its the title of a song by the late Duncan Macrae and Roddy McMillan extolling the virtues of living in the western isles as they travelled on their puffer,"The Vital Spark".
Just found the full survey results:

sad.gif Most miserable cities:

1. Glasgow
2. Newcastle
3. Sheffield
4. Cardiff
5. London

smile.gif Least miserable cities:

1. Southampton
2. Nottingham
3. Edinburgh
4. Liverpool
5. Leeds

The survey also concluded that 66% of Brits will be depressed today as it is officially the most miserable day of the year, with the clocks going back and the darker nights setting in.

Och, ah was ok tae a read this, now ah'm depressed laugh.gif

I nearly had a "canary" when I read the findings of the survey. I went to Tenerife for a weeks holiday once and had gastroenteritis for 5 days, now that was miserable rolleyes.gif
Hi gg ad think if the survey asked a few mair pertinent questions they wid find that 99% o the population are depressed every day that god sends since the tory's took ower. mad.gif

Hi jupiter weel ahl tell you sumpkin i'm a proud heilin laddie proud o my roots proud o my clan the land o the heedrum whitever you call it, naw the part o the land that spawned men, fightin men ,the salt o the bluddy earth ,men who stood up tae english tyranny fer centures men that gied the bluddy english army its back bone ,when asked if his heilin regiment wid hode at Balaclava Sir Colin Campbell answered wie ah sneer on his lips ,they then proceeded tae halt a cossack charge oot in the open staunin three deep nae breastworks just pure scottish tenacity an had tae be called back as they snarled like wolves as they chased efter the retreating cossacks ,on that same day three hunner scots grays o the heavy brigade annihilated a brigade o cossacks three or four itmes there number.
QUOTE (GG @ 1st Nov 2010, 09:00pm) *
Just found the full survey results:

sad.gif Most miserable cities:

1. Glasgow
2. Newcastle
3. Sheffield
4. Cardiff
5. London

smile.gif Least miserable cities:

1. Southampton
2. Nottingham
3. Edinburgh
4. Liverpool
5. Leeds

The survey also concluded that 66% of Brits will be depressed today as it is officially the most miserable day of the year, with the clocks going back and the darker nights setting in.


They must be kidding! There's an old saying that Glasgow funerals are more fun than Edinburgh weddings. Having been to several of both I can confirm it's 100% true.
Some more of them miserable Glaswegians HERE! Just look at their sad, humourless and miserable faces.

too much firewater's the problem UGH!
Ah' think I've been away too long!..when they say 'miserable' what do they mean?, tight,dull,dank,or the city and its people in general???
Goodness knows Wellfield, it's a lot of nonsense. We're always up for a laugh or a song. smile.gif
Yep melody yer right'' ahm naebuudy's chilell ahm nae buddys s chile like a floor ahm just growin wildeeee '' haw where is youse aw goin ahm no finished yet hic'' laugh.gif laugh.gif
Oh Daneee buoy, the pipes, the pipes is caaaaullin, fae glen tae glen an doon the mountinside...........

Ye know, stop for a wee min, think of the feelin ye git when you read the Glesca accent.........can ye still feel that fun, laughter, cheek and belonging running through yer veins? Miserable my a**e it's delightful.............
this guy jupiter an me have a lot o disputes me i like him as an auld nut job i now realise whit him an his polis amigo's went through tae keep the rest o us safe ,tell u what if i had my life tae live ower ad be a polis masel an a swear god,god help you wee fannies that masquerade as hard men, me ah members bein taken intae a close in govan an given a wee touch up shall we say came oot mah e oops back sore but smiled tae mah mates but inside ah thought better tone it doon abit you rascal you an that mah freens is whit is missing noo in oor society short sharp lesson scumbags who assault an terrorise oaps wid hae been given a wee bit o come uppance ,noo adays its there plasma screen tellys an damn playstations haw jupe mah man yer ace
Hear we go! it must really hurt to be that jealous of us "Glasgow Folk " Billy Connolly must be " howlin " no how he's so cheerless!!! LOL... the Glasgow Humour is known Worldwide where do these " Dumplins" come from??? think we all know the answer to that one! rolleyes.gif
Nippy nell Nippy nell if ah gied ye a kiss wid u be mah gel laugh.gif ,stiff me bridie darlin ah wis only kiddin honest injun, whit nae whusky in mah water the night,am as pure as the driven snow honest darlin rolleyes.gif
AB,you forgot to add that you would have been a Glasgow Miles more miserable polis.Keep on the topic babe!
Joop. rolleyes.gif
The auld time polis that offered you a square go, yep there wis many o them that went man tae man wie the so called hard men in a close 9 times oota 10 the good guy won .

Glesga tae me is a fun city know a funny fing the auld guys like me an mah china's are master o the wan lib patter is majik.
Glasgow has the shortest life expectancy, highest unemployment, worst drugs problems, worst schools, gangs, poor housing, most benefit claimants, most overweight, etc, etc. This place is the biggest dump on earth and some people still say "Glasgow's miles better"??? Not for Glaswegians it's not!!!
Ye know whit George, that's whit makes Glasgow so good...........the wee folk that sit back and watch it all happen in front o their eyes, sigh at the shame of the world, realise they are powerless to control it...............and burst oot laffing as only a Glaswegian can in the face of reality.
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