Wishing The Ground Would Swallow You Up., Any particular memories? Rating Options

[Melody]

The guy on the radio is asking folk to think of these times and phone in.

One in particular sticks out in my mind. I was getting off a bus and saw a particular friend from work that I had not seen in ages. I don't know what possessed me and it was completely out of character but I was so happy to see her that I ran over to her, cuddled her, cupped her face in my hands saying, " Oh I'm so happy to see you Sandra." Smiling away then reality dawned slowly that this woman was a complete stranger. I could do nothing but dash away. Should have gone to Specsavers.

[enrique]

One time when flying home from France where i was working , i was sitting next to a nice lady , who explained she was travelling to a wine convention in london and to promote her own vinyards product , when she asked me where i was from i explained i travelled from Scotland, for some reason she asked if we in Scotland have many foreigners there, i pointed out that a lot of Polish people lived there, to which she did not quite understand and asked what are Polish people , when i jokingly said you know the people chased out of the country by the Germans , she put up her hand and said before you say anymore , I AM GERMAN,( no place to hide on a plane)

[glasgow lass]

Walking through the office foyer a few months ago a police officer stopped me to ask a question, furst time a said to him sorry can you repeat yourself, second time a said can you speak up please and he repeated himself again, a was so embarrased and didn't know if a should laff or run as a still couldn't make neither head nor tail of what he was saying.Thurd time a finally said am really sorry but a cant understand what you are saying, but if you wait a minit ah'll get you a translator, we have five who wurk in here, anyway the wee bit of comotion brought a few other people into our question'n answer time in the foyer, it turnd out that this officer was from Jamaican and it took more than myself to huderstand him,,,,,,he wasn't happy

[proudmaryhiller]

On my dad's annual check-up at the hospital, this particular day they were running half an hour late,I was feeling a bit scunnered, anyway the doctor eventually appeared and he was foreign, and I said to my dad "god I hope we can make out what he's saying" not thinking he had heard me, he did and the look he gave me, I was mortified and a wee wummin that was sitting next to me wen't into knots laughing, he looked from me to her...and if looks could kill

[Jupiter]

What do you say when you have made the biggest faux-pas?The ground wont open up for you.Aargh!
My friend told me that his neighbour and his girlfriend who had been together for years had split up.I had met the couple a few times and was really quite annoyed and surprised they had parted.Anyway about three weeks late I met the chap and after a wee blether I mentioned to him that I was really sorry to hear the news he had split with his girl."Who told you that?"says he."Dont answer that I know."
Transpired he had a wee fall out, she left by the front door and basically came home via the back door and they were all lovey dovey and embarking on a Caribeann holiday.I was for once so annoyed at myself for even having the cheek to mention his personal affairs when I hardly knew the guy.I couldnt apologise enough and then wait to contact my friend to apologise for dropping him in it.I broke my own rule of never assume or take anything for granted.

[Lennox]

Oh Melody great topic,

I was waitign tables years ago a job I loved this couple came in and all was good servic was nice and they were about to pay the tab and leave , SO me being wit I am says " Its nice to see you & your dad out before your baby arrives so how much longer do you have ???

She go tthis look and I knew I had blew it .. " I am Not pregnant , just fat and this is not my fther its my husband I just glad I waited till he gave me the tip before I said anything ..

[Jupiter]

Lennox,clearly when you do it you do it big time.That was a stoatir.

[andypisces]

my daughtrer and i were cross country skiing on the local golf course. It was late spring and there were some bare patches with grass showing. I had on my good track suit and gliding down the hill. suddenly my feet stopped on a part with no snow. Feet stopped i carried on face down in the snow but still sliding downhill. lo and behold another bald patch caught hold oh my track suit bottom and my track suit AND my underwear were at my ankles before i knew it.Not too bad if my daughter had not let out a loud scream then started laughing which attracted everyones attention. There was i still sliding but with most of my clotthes at my ankles and veryone watching. I was a wee bit embarrassed

[Melody]

Well Andy I think you might have topped the posts so far. Talk about how to loose your dignity in one fell swoop.

Great wee stories pals.

Another one that came to my mind there. A wee girl came into school one day with her what I assumed to be Grandmother. This wee girl had lovely red hair, so trying to be nice I said to the child, " Oh you're so like your Gran with that beautiful red hair." The woman said in an abrupt tone, " I'm her Mother."

[Anne1]

When I was about 16.17 was at Mass and the priest was giving a sermon, my mind drifted to previous night when we had been doing a Gilbert & Sullivan Concert in Maryhill Burgh Hall my head was full of it, anyway priest stopped sermon and I stood up and clapped my hands he then took a bow and said thank you Anne, I wished the floor would have opened up and swallowed me for sure. My friends were helpless laughing took years to live it down

[Melody]

Bet he'd never been applauded before Anne.

[Anne1]

Best of it Melody he was a Young priest who ran the youth club and very modern for late 1950s thankfully he took it in good fun[my Dad nearly had kittens when I stood up]

[Melody]

I'll bet be did Anne.

[Lennox]

Melody , as you know my granddaughter is " special " we went shopping yesterday and they have vendors on Friday's walking around we come to one and it was a man in his "older years " had to be late 70's he was "sampling " fruit juice and some kind of dip using slices of apples .. he offered the wean some she said no them apples are old they were a little brown but not bad , the old man said I just put them out , so I know something is in her mind and try and get her to move on . NO am not that lucky

The Wean : I know that you are old but they are bad, look brown apples ,
Vendor : Look I will eat one to show you !
The Wean : No that's ok cos your Old like my grandma and you might die if you eat that .
Vendor ..Oh


ME ...Waited for the ground to open , it did not ...

[Anne1]

The wean knows your real age Lennox