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Glasgow Boards/Forums _ Other Discussions _ Bad Manners

Posted by: maryhillgal 14th Jun 2008, 11:31am

This is a pet bug-bear of mine and I wonder if anyone else feels the same.

Does anyone else notice a sad lack of manners these days? In the last 6 weeks I have bought 2 x 50.00 gift vouchers [one for a neighbour's son and one for my son's friend who were married within a week of each other]. OK I know in this day and age 50.00 is not a huge sum of money but we are pensioners living on a fixed income and to me it is the thought that counts. Not one of these boys or their wives has chosen to acknowledge the gift and I am so angry.

I brought my children up as I was brought up, to always thank people for gifts [if they were on the phone then call them and if not write a letter].

About 20 years or more ago friends of ours who emigrated to Australia wrote and asked if my husband [who worked for a brewing company] could get optic measures and loads of other things for the bar they were building in their house. My husband duly did so and we posted off a box to them which cost us 25.00 to send. They never even said thanks but constantly complained about the duty they had to pay on the stuff and not once did they offer to refund the postage. I don't mind doing things for friends but I thought this was a bit rich!!

How do others on the Boards feel about this?

Posted by: Melody 14th Jun 2008, 12:54pm

Sometimes Maryhillgal, I feel that good manners are a thing of the past sadly. Everywhere we go we seem to see examples of bad manners. sad.gif Remember in days gone by when doing business in the bank or doctor's surgery or even just shopping, people used to be quite discreet when attending to you, gentler. Nowadays your business seems to be announced to the world and his brother wherever you go. I find myself getting angry with the world at times and it's often down to and as simple as being exposed to bad manners. I wonder why good manners are not as important to people any longer? Mibbe I'm just getting old.

Posted by: stuarty 14th Jun 2008, 01:16pm

Am with you 2 ladies on this topic as civillity costs nothing, and some people that are in my life keep pulling up my son and his daughter but when this person and their family do somthing we are supposed to ignore it as im a wee scottish woman a bite my tounge,,,, but if a ever let go on this person about manners they will wish they never heard of the word and that is going to happen sooner than they will realise as a think 11months is a long time to keep quiet and I have told my son to keep this person as far away from me as possible because he knows im at my low tolerance point and the emergency button on my pressure cooker is just about to blast off . thanks MHG for a good topic welldone that lady wub.gif

Posted by: tammy 14th Jun 2008, 03:26pm

MHG, I agree with you....i think it is very bad mannaers and quite rude actually for those two couples to not give you at least a simple thank you for your gifts to them. A gift is simple a wonderful thing..let's the person know you thought of the..not he amount spent. Unfortunately some think otherwise. I ofte am quite shocked when I see wedding registry's and gifts that are on the lists now. Don't get me wrong, I think they are helpful in other ways, but some gifts I think wow never in a million years would I ask or expect someone to buy me that. If you know what I mean? But it's common curtesy that I have a problem with. The day to day please and thank you manners. The thing that makes me see red is the lack of mannrs in the shops when I am buying something. And 9 times out of 10 if when I'm paying and I don't get a please or a thank you I mention it to the person serving me. Sadly I think manners are a thing of the past. And I still believe in a thank you card or wedding gifts, graduation gifs etc. Recently we also gave a card with money to a friend's son for his grauation nd we have yet to hear a thank you and I said to Phil that is very rude. So, I understand what you're feeling.

Posted by: maryhillgal 14th Jun 2008, 08:06pm

Thanks for all your comments. I am so glad everyone is in agreement. What does it cost to say "thank you?" Two wee words but a helluva big meaning. I am glad I got that off my chest.

Posted by: stratson 14th Jun 2008, 08:24pm

Think those persons treated you very shabbily MHG. If it was 50pence I'd expect a "Thank You.".never mind 50, by the way I think 50 is a lot of money.
Shocking to say the least. Bad manners is one of my two" Hates". The other is being taken for granted.
You will in time have your opportunity to address the people concerned without you being bad mannered. mad.gif

Posted by: penny dainty 15th Jun 2008, 01:49am

A simple "thank you', costs nothing , but sadly an awful lot of just simply do not have the good manners to use it. mad.gif sad.gif

Posted by: Elma 15th Jun 2008, 07:27am

I have to tell you what happened to me today. I was at the Greyhound station to pick up the box of DVDs for our store. The man in charge has hurt his back and said he couldn't carry the package out for me, it is quite heavy. I was about to pick it up when a young man in his mid-twenties who was standing behind me said, "Let me take that for you." He then picked it up and carried it out to my car. When I thanked him he stated that he couldn't stand there and not help me. I was delighted to think that chivalry is not altogether dead.

Posted by: maryhillgal 15th Jun 2008, 03:08pm

What a nice young man Elma. Well done to him.

Posted by: tammy 15th Jun 2008, 03:23pm

Well, that is very nice to hear Elma. He's been taught well. smile.gif

Posted by: glasgow lass 15th Jun 2008, 06:43pm

MHG, I think you are very right here and I for one have a huge issue when I feel that some people are not being mannerly, rude people are a big turn off to me, think there is nothing nicer than having great manners and and great personal hygiene.

Posted by: Macbeast 16th Jun 2008, 07:22am

Thank you for bringing this up, MHG biggrin.gif

Posted by: petalpeeps 16th Jun 2008, 04:21pm

Maryhillgal , As my wee granny Borland used to say to me , manners cost nothing. I totally agree , that you should have been given a verbal thankyou at least , regardless of size or amount of gift . A small thankyou card would have been even nicer .

Posted by: Isobel 17th Jun 2008, 03:58am

I think it’s dreadful if you give a gift and then don't get a thank you. I waited eight months to get a card for a wedding gift. The story goes they were waiting on the special thank you cards with their picture. When we booked the photographer for my daughters wedding last year, it was one of the things I asked about. I was told it was not unusual to wait about six months for your thank you card.
Sorry I said that’s not good enough we had our 's in four weeks. Same think this year for youngest daughter wedding they have been told four weeks is the longest we will wait.
So many things are taken for granted now, but not everyone is the same. I did something for a wee girl who is a friend of my daughters; she arrived at my door with a card for $20 for Tim Horton’s coffee shop. She said oh no I just had to thank you in person. Nice eh!
So manners are still out there.

Posted by: glasgow lass 17th Jun 2008, 11:41am

Yes Isobel absolutely manners are still out there I attended a graduation supper on Sunday night, next morning (Monday) I recieved yet another thank you this time by way of email for the gift that I had given, and a wedding that I attended two yrs ago,,,still no thank you cards have been sent out!

Posted by: Tennscot 18th Jun 2008, 12:30am

GL. You just brought up one of my two most hated things. Lack of Manners and People taking an act of Kindness for Stupidity. I could write a book on the subject, if I was able to keep my blood pressure down long enough to write it. I was once told, (When my wife reminded someone) " I didn`t think I had to thank you".... My parting answer was, Nah ! that`s OK I`d have done the same for a dog.!!!!!!!! Watch yer Blood Pressure ... James. !!! oops sorry !!! rolleyes.gif

Posted by: Melody 21st Jun 2008, 01:00pm

I just watched what appeared to be a grandmother with a grandson of about 10 years old. He was a big lump of a boy for his age, almost as tall as herself. He was pulling and leaning on his grandmother and she seems to have to drag him to keep him beside her in the shop. She then managed to lift him, so that he was standing on a ledge which seems to be designed to hold the weight of a shopping bag. Anyhow, at the end of this horrible demonstration of this child's bad manners and out of control behaviour, granny asked him if he would like a cake. wacko.gif

Posted by: glasgow lass 21st Jun 2008, 02:54pm

Sounds like a wee bit of bribery to me Melody, and used it a few times myself when mine were
out of control in a public place and wished that ground would open up and swallow me,, what can we do in such a situation especially if we can't leave immediately, jist got to sweat it out at times, I think so anyway smile.gif

Posted by: Melody 21st Jun 2008, 04:16pm

I know what your saying Glasgow Lass and I've done the same myself with my children as infants however, do you not think that a child of around ten years should have been taught some respect for his grandmother? Or I am being old fashioned?

Posted by: Java 21st Jun 2008, 05:08pm

Ah'm trying to imagine any scenario where at ten years old, having pulled or leant on my granny she would have rewarded me with a cake. Ah would have been lifted right enough....by the force of her hand on my rear end...huh.gif

I hate bad manners....huge gripe is holding a door open for someone and they walk through without a word...

Posted by: glasgow lass 21st Jun 2008, 06:10pm

Yes Melody, I would think so and hope so but at times thats not the way it is in my opinion, who knows what triggered the bad behavior in the first place, and at ten yrs old some childern still cant verbelize how they are feeling so they may act out by pushing and shoving another.
This conversation reminds me of a friend in Glasgow who's granny knew just what buttons to push to get a bad reaction out of her granddaughter , and then my friend would be in trouble for talking back and even pushing her granny ,and we were about the same age , ten or eleven
I really hate comments such as ,,,, Will you grow up ,or Will you act your age, so I feel that kids get mixed messages at times.
Of course Im not saying what he did was right , who knows what provokes bad behavior.

Posted by: Melody 21st Jun 2008, 06:46pm

Behaviour such at this should certainly not be rewarded in my opinion. We are all citizens of the world and have to respect each other as best we can not least our own grandparents surely to goodness.

Posted by: maryhillgal 21st Jun 2008, 09:21pm

I am in full agreement with you Melody. My feeling is that bad behaviour should never be rewarded. If a child can't show respect to their Granny then what is the world coming to?

Posted by: Melody 22nd Jun 2008, 08:10am

I know that this was originally speaking about please and thank you however, if we allow children to behave in this fashion we will reap what we sow and please and thank you will pale into insignificance I'm afraid.

Posted by: Isobel 22nd Jun 2008, 04:56pm

Yes I agree with what you are saying Melody. My girls would never have behaved in that fashion I just would not have allowed it. However today is a totally different story I would hate to have any small children today. My niece who is a wonderful mother and I would say pretty strict with her two children,who incidentally are good kids, was told by her six year old last week , mom that's abuse and I can report you .God love him he has no idea, he is just saying what he is being taught at school. He was being punished for being snappy with his sister , Lynn took him by the arm firmly and led him to his room, told him to come out only when he was ready to apologize to his sister.Unfortunately it has really gotten out of hand today and parent are afraid to punish their own children.
What has the world come to .No wonder parents are not getting the respect they deserve.

Posted by: Melody 22nd Jun 2008, 05:18pm

Me too Isobel I wouldn't like to be bringing up small children today. No wonder there are so many problems. I must admit I don't ever remember being hit in any way as a child and I grew up with a healthy respect and great love for my grandparents. I dare say I had my moments like any other child but we seemed to know the limits. The answer I feel regarding teaching love and respect lies in example. Children will mimic behaviour as you know, if they see respect shown to people around them in general they will follow suit. Not always maybe, but hopefully in most cases. smile.gif

Posted by: glasgow lass 22nd Jun 2008, 05:29pm

I am firm believer in setting rules and bounderies for kids, I feel that it gives them a really good safety net for their own feelings and emotions, Im also a firm believer that the time should fit the crime and Ive seen lots of parents dish out hard punishment to small children ,one incident was when the kids on our street were abou six, they had been told not to leave the street,,,,well guess whit they did , aye'yir right they all decided to go for a walk to the store by themselves , when they aw came strolling back wae ther popcycles drippin doon their chins wae the heat , they all got grownded , my own for about two hrs and a promise from that he would not wonder off again so I felt that he had had enough time to think about what he did and away he went to play whith the rest of the naughty wee bhoys, sad thing is one mother kept her son in the house for a hole week and put him in a room were he could see all of the other kids out playing,,,a cruel wummin aha thought! So to me its no wonder that some kids become very rebellious.

Posted by: Betsy2009 3rd Sep 2016, 02:02pm

A tiny bit extreme perhaps ..?

''A 31-year-old man was shot and killed outside of a North Las Vegas McDonald’s, reportedly after getting into an argument with a woman for not holding open the door for her, KSNV reports.

According to the report, Mohammad Robinson got into an argument with a woman who was upset that the door to the McDonald’s was not being held open for her. The woman reportedly went and notified a man she was with about the incident, and that man pulled out a firearm and fatally wounded the 31-year-old father.

“It was a stupid reason honestly, irrelevant. It doesn’t make any sense why would you actually take someone’s life over not opening a door,” Robinson’s 14-year-old daughter Miniya Sampson told the news station. “It’s horrible. I want my dad back and you took him away from me!”

Robinson’s best friend reportedly witnessed the shooting, Sampson said.

Police are looking for the suspect, the station notes, and are hoping that surveillance footage from the McDonald’s will give some leads.''

http://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/us/man-shot-killed-for-not-holding-door-open-for-woman-at-las-vegas-mcdonald%E2%80%99s/ar-AAigulU