Dear Diary, A wee daily blether.... Options

[Java]

Dear Diary,

Well'that's it aw by wi' Tae be honest, diary, if ah see another sprout ah'll poke ma eyes oot wi a mint matchmaker'..ma resolution no tae put things off isny workin oot too well since ah shoulda startit this yesterday. It's aw ma son's fault'.he said he wis givin me a Lazy Boy fur ma Christmas'ah thought he meant the chair but oh naw, no him, he's jist point blank refusing tae do anything'ah said he's been givin me that same present aw his life, but he says that's cos he knows how much ah like it...

Ah've lotsa lovely jumpers mind ye'.and none o' yer yodelling up a mountain type this year'.nice wans'.wans wi slipper socks '.oh, except wan o' them'it's a polo neck, but it's sleeveless'whits that aw aboot?...whits the point o' yer neck bein warm if yer airms are frozen?....ah'll hufty see if a kin get matchin wool an knit the rest o' it masel'.

Ah've took aw the decorations doon, place disny half look bare noo'. Only half mind ye cos ah made a mortal mistake -ah got glittery ornaments, and the glitter's a law untae itsel'.ah've hud glittery tea wi the last glittery mince pies the night'..ah think Oxfam's due a wee visit the morra'.

Here, ah wunner if onybuddy else is startin a diary?....

[lindamac]

couldn`t we awe jist use your diary seein as it`s startit anawethings? urr dwee hufty hae oor ain wan?





dear javas diary ave been haein a tongue dragging time o it furr sumitt diffrent tae eat,am ferr scunnert wi christmas food anawe, best a could dae was ave made a massive LASAGNE.........................noo ave aweways wunnert witt makes me dae this but the dish is bigger than me yit wurr only 4 o us in the faimly . ns likely weel eat it till wurr jist aboot dunn in and turnt tae LASAGNE thus defeating ma original purpose, tae stoap awe this tonguedragging eatin o same stuff awe the time ,results are , snae differnt frae christmas when ave said awe n dunnit again ye know made too much o the same grubb yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! think am still cooking furr 7 when a cooked furr ma mammy hahaha jings a hope this habit stoaps soon.

[Java]

Dear 'Open' Diary,

Resolution number two has gone furra burton...resolved no tae get frustratit when hair dis candy floss thing....got frustratit and hair is now fallin oot at alarmin rate....wunner how much a wig costs.....

Sick tae the back teeth of wind an rain....wunner how much a ticket tae somewhere warm is.....also sick tae back teeth of bein back at work....wunner how much ah've goat in ma pension fund...scratch that, diary, ah've no goat a pension fund....wunner how ah'll survive in auld age....

Phoned mammy and she is fine...has startit wi next years presents awreddy and is waitin fur easter eggs tae appear in shoaps....wunner where ah wis when the organised gene wis bein passed doon the line....probly tryin tae fix hair....

Only wan thing furrit, diary...back tae bed...

[lindamac]

FRAID yer mammy passed it oan tae me as ave goat 5 christmas presents and 3 burfdy gifts aweready.hahaha lollol o & thur wisney ony snaw in the envelope or cerd she sent me it in hahaha

dear open diary cin ye no jist keep the name Javas Diary kinda like in the papers or the magazines ye know like dear Doactar or dear (whits yon wan thits inna sunday papers???) ...........AYE thats it .............................DEAR FRANCIS WHITING OANLY WULL USE JAVAMOL stead???witt dyee hink Dear Javamol?

Dear Javamol gonna save up and come see me in Australia furr a hoaladay seeing as its so easy tae make hoals in yer stoakins here,Lets see noo a hoal a day furr 21 days costs ????????????
Dear Javamol how much diz it cost furr 21 pairs o stoakins ? cos weel if ye jist dinny buy any thurrs nane tae get hoals in and thats a cash saving tae go towards yer we stint abroad tae Australia tae stay wi me hahaha

[jaybee]

Dear Diary, I hope you are a big one because there are an awful lot of chatty people in this group.... anyway, thought you would want to know that I broke more balls taking doon the tree than whit a did puttin up the tree. Ah really should stop putting brandy in my morning coffee...lol, Jaybee

[Geezabrek]

Dear (Java's Open) Diary. I am gonna cut doon on the drink and food and sweeties - efter I get through aw the stuff I bot for the guests and aw that my girls bot and my mates bot and wot peepol bot me as pressies and wot I wun in the wurks draw...Or mibby i will start a wee shop?? Hmmm:

[Avril]

Dear Diary,
Ah'm gonnie be honest wi' ye.....how cin a possibly cut doon oan the drink and sweeties when ah've goet a hooseful o' the stuff? Ah booght loads in an' it's a' gone but ev'rybudy that's visited brooght me mair! So ah've goet tae dae the decent thing and polish it aff...huvn't ah? Ah don't want tae offend anybudy...know whit ah mean?

This year ah plan tae plan, tae plan, tae plan tae go roon' the world an' visit Lindyloo.....we're gonnie go surfin' the-gether oan the big waves....that's efter we dae oor parachute jump! Then ah'll go and see a' my other GG pals in OZ, Canada, USA, Scotland and England...so if a' ma plans, tae plan, tae plan, tae plan come tae fruition ah should huv realised a' ma plans, tae plan, tae plan by 2020......ah cannae wait!

Ah'm gonnie bounce oan ma trampoline everyday tae lose a' ma 'puppy fat' then ah'm gonnie buy a rid swimming costume an' see if ah cin get a part in Baywatch while ah'm visiting Tarheels!

Then ah'm gonnie dae a course as a lumberjack (Ye never know when ye'll need these skills) while ah'm visitin' ah' ma GG pals in Canada

Efter a' that ah plan tae come tae Glesga oan ma wey back hame fae ma roon' the world trip, ah'll want tae relax a bit efter a' the excitement so ah'm planning a nice quiet night at the Karaoke in The Horseshoe Bar wi' a' ma GG pals.

Ah'm away tae start ma plans, tae plan, tae plan noo!
If any o' yeez think ah might huv missed sumfin' then let me know please cause ah' want this tae be the trip o' a lifetime!

[maggies]

Dear Diary,

Well…that’s it aw by wi… Tae be honest, diary, if ah see another sprout ah’ll poke ma eyes oot wi a mint matchmaker…..ma resolution no tae put things off isny workin oot too well since ah shoulda startit this yesterday. It’s aw ma son’s fault….he said he wis givin me a Lazy Boy fur ma Christmas…ah thought he meant the chair but oh naw, no him, he’s jist point blank refusing tae do anything…ah said he's been givin me that same present aw his life, but he says that's cos he knows how much ah like it...

Ah’ve lotsa lovely jumpers mind ye….and none o’ yer yodelling up a mountain type this year….nice wans….wans wi slipper socks ….oh, except wan o’ them…it’s a polo neck, but it’s sleeveless…whits that aw aboot?...whits the point o’ yer neck bein warm if yer airms are frozen?....ah’ll hufty see if a kin get matchin wool an knit the rest o’ it masel….

Ah’ve took aw the decorations doon, place disny half look bare noo…. Only half mind ye cos ah made a mortal mistake -ah got glittery ornaments, and the glitter’s a law untae itsel….ah’ve hud glittery tea wi the last glittery mince pies the night…..ah think Oxfam’s due a wee visit the morra….

Here, ah wunner if onybuddy else is startin a diary?....

Dear diary,cos am very new here ,i keep getting lost,so forgive me if i dont get back for a while,cos i forget were i found u,lol

[jakka13]

Hi Maggies ,welcome to the board .We all go round in circles sometimes ,That's what makes these boards fun .
Hope you find your feet soon and get to know us all .
cheers Jakka

[lindamac]

DEAR JAVAS OPEN DIARY

AM SEEK O LASAGNE NOO GONNA GEEZ A BREK AND DRAP ME SOME IDEAS FURR DINNER THANKS

OH HEAR NOO THANKS FURR THE MORRAS MORN COS WEEL MA HACKET FEET NEED A SEEING TAE YON CURLY NAILS SEEM SET APATRT FRAE SOCIETYS NORM HAHAHALOL................A GOT MASELL A WEE GIFT CERD TAE HAE A FEET MASSAGE AN AWE THE BUNFF THIT GOES WI IT .DYEES THINK THULL HAE SHEERS THERE FUR MA FEET??????? MIBEES A N A WEE RASP FILE FURR MA THICK HORD SKIN O MA FEET HAHAHA NEIL SAYS THEEL NEED A GRINDER FURR MA HACKET FEET THANK GAWD HE`S NO A FEET MAN EH

JINGS AM THAT WAPPIT OOT WI HAEIN TAE USE THE LAWNMOWER FURR TAE SHAVE MA LEGS THE SEFTERNIN

[Java]

Dear Diary,

Apologies diary, am scribblin very hard this mornin so page underneath will probly have imprints...Am right up tae high doh cos have already spillt tea aw doon me...am sure there is song in there somewhere...

Tripped over dog who am sure lies in wait to see tea in hand then positions itself accordingly...am pretty sure it was grinning as it went under table...

Must go to supermarket today...will take oil can as am bound to get squeaky wheel trolley which also lies in wait grinning and plotting to take me straight to cream cake aisle and then to checkout with longest queue...will get nowhere near the shoe polish I need...

Wunner if ah could live off the land...wunner if dog makes good meat....ah'm kiddin, diary, s'probly way too chewy....wunner how long a person could live oan pine cones....if no entry the morra, diary, question answered....

[Geezabrek]

Hey Lindamac... whit have I got to do with lasagne ?? Huv you been peekin in my windy the morning efter the night before .. when i daren't look in the mirror? If yer efter tips fur dinner, how about Java's dug... seems it might be on the menu if it keeps trippin her up?
Hey maggie.... very big welcums.
Dear Diary... I didny want to go to wurk today, but forced myself and wiz ok when I goat there as i remembered where the kettle wiz. Mibby I can find it again the morra. Anyway, I probably actually like it a bit as I canny forget whit to do when I get there (yet).

[maggies]

thx u for the welcome Geezabrek,, and to u too Jakka 13 ive found my feet with the help of Lindamac,lol,cheers linda lol cheers everyone xxx

[lindamac]

HERE NOO A RESEMBLE THAT REMARK

[lindamac]

tHATS A RERR IDEA THANKS FURR THE BREK GEEZA AL HAE A CRACK AT RABBIT STEW HAHAHA OR MIBEES AL HAE SOME ROASTED PIG FRAE SEEING JAVAS WEE PIGGY HAHA THEMS GOTTA BE BETTER THAN JAVAS DUGG AND ANY WAYS SHES GOAT 2 DUGGS SO THE ITHER WAN WULL GET JEALOUS AND WELL THEN AL END UP WI SAME AUL SAME AUL .......TO MUCH O THE SAME FING HAHAHA CHEERS JAVAS DIARY....................OINK OINK