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Last 10 Posts [ In reverse order ]
carmella Posted 16th Sep 2016, 10:30pm
  Thomas your post does not surprise me. I think we are dealing with idiots these days, or those pretending to be such.

I've had similar conversations with that waste of space Scottish Power!
Thomas Posted 9th Sep 2016, 04:09pm
  Conversation with British Gas on Tuesday 6th Sept 2016

XXX Hello, my name is XXX how can I help?
Me: I want to enquire about British Gas Landlord Care Package.
XXX: How old is your boiler?
Me: Brand new, just purchased and it is being installed this coming Thursday the 8th September
XXX: So it’s an old boiler have you thought of replacement?
Me: I’ve purchased it from Scottish Gas today the boiler is being installed on Thursday coming.
XXX: So, you need a new boiler….
Me: No, I’ve already indicated that there is a new boiler going in on Thursday of this week and I’ve purchased it from British Gas, the salesman was out today….
XXX: Hold on please till I go and check with my colleagues.
8 minutes later
XXX: Hello, we can offer a package that suits your needs but if your boiler is older than 5 years, we possibly won’t be able to cover it. Have you thought about purchasing a new boiler?
Me: Thank you for your assistance and comprehensive understanding my request, have a good day.
rainbowchaser Posted 17th Aug 2016, 10:22am
  Tesco Direct have a 'collect in store' option and our local Tesco is staffed by fairly stupid people at the best of times - but this day they were on overdrive. There were around twenty people in the queue getting very irritated and I waited around forty minutes and when I got to the front I realised why there was a delay as the morons running it had no clue what they were doing. I got moron #1 and showed him my ticket number. He looked at it as if he had just seen 666 tattooed on my forehead then asked what it was I had come to collect and I said 'a suitcase' so he immediately went to the shelf behind and started looking at a bunch of small parcels that could only have contained toothbrushes or slippers or books. He said 'it must be in the back' and I thought 'and while you're there, get your "I'm Stupid" sign.
Agnes2205 Posted 16th Aug 2016, 12:47pm
  I put my plastic wrap in the fridge. Easy to find the end works a treat, doesn't take up a lot of room either

Agnes2205 Posted 16th Aug 2016, 12:44pm
QUOTE (Barbara @ 17th Nov 2003, 10:28pm) *
Oh Catherine, I have a chance to be useful. Here is a tip to start the plastic wrap.

You put a short peice of scotch tape on the place where it looks like the wrap starts and lift it up.

Rab Posted 14th May 2015, 01:20pm
  Aye, you could be right there! My Dad was once a caretaker at a library/information centre and every time I went up there, I came away with one of the many brollies he had stored after being found. Amazing that no-one appeared to reclaim them - except some maybe-not-so-daft-wee-wummin! yes.gif
zascot Posted 13th May 2015, 01:54pm
  Don`t know Rab. She went home dry in the rain with a free umbrella for acting daft. Clever wee wuman. thumbup.gif
Rab Posted 13th May 2015, 11:15am
  OK KTV, give her one of these instead! Attached Image
ktv Posted 13th May 2015, 07:57am
  get loads of lost property requests in work....

staff member with a wee auld biddy come over...
(sm) hi mrs **** left her umbrella here last week and I handed it in to your office.
me...ok what colour is it? (we have loads)
sm... its about this length (holding her hands out like shes showing me a fish she just caught) but what colour is it?
sm.....(repeats last hand movements then adds in an opening an umbrella movement) "its an umbrella"!!!!! I know what an umbrella is but what colour is it?
sm...i think it had a pattern on it
me...any idea of the colours of this pattern? i cant remember.
me to you know what colour it is? you just want any umbrella since its chucking it down? ok
lindamcf Posted 12th May 2015, 03:54pm
  I saw this on FB and thought it might apply on this.


Yesterday I was at my local Tesco's store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco's

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

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