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> Ode Tae A 'doo'
TeeHeeHee
post 21st May 2011, 04:39am
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A wee story for you Chrissie.
One of my mates over here, his uncle ( or something) is caretaker in a church in another town near to here. It was almost impossible to open the door, behind the altar, which gave access to the bell-tower and attic so he asked my mate if he could rid the church of the pidgeons and clean up the mess they'd left. My mate asked if I would help.
The steps behind the door really were about 6" thick with hard as concrete doo-poo; had to be chizzled and scraped all the way up to the bell-tower.
You know when you're in a church and you look up to the ceiling above you and it's all arched ... when you're the other side of that ceiling it's like an upside-down egg box. You need a rope to abseil down the domes and climb back up. All around the attic there is a series of cat-walks; every thing was covered in hard, white, poo so we were well covered in protective overalls (red rolleyes.gif ) and wore gloves and masks.
One of the funny moments was when I turned to see my mate quite a way away from me standing talking to someone on his mobile; head slightly tilted upwards and a single ray of sunshine beaming down on him through one of the holes in the roof, completely oblivious to the picture he presented; as if he was talkin' to Big G on the phone.
I was always sorry I didn't have a camera on me at that time.
We cleared out, literally, over a ton or two of doo-poo, egg shells and bird remains, all neatly tied up in black bags. Then we set about fitting wire mesh to all the gaps and ventilation points in the roof so that the birds couldn't get back into the House of God.
And the caretaker was very happy ...
... till the Sunday Morning Service.
You know, and Davy knows, and I know that pidgeons are homing birds. Maybe the caretaker thought they might all migrate to the nearby woods, but we know that's where the wood-pidgeons live. The Homing pidgeons came back home ... but couldn't get in.
So they sat on the guttering around the church ... and pooed on the people below laugh.gif
Sunday bests were pooed on, cars were pooed on and the paths were pooed on and I thought "All creatures great and small, the Lord God loves them all".
But his congregation weren't too happy with them. laugh.gif


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... Some try to tell me thoughts they cannot defend ...
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wee davy
post 21st May 2011, 08:21am
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What a beautiful view that must be, Chrissie - you should share it with us

## Loved the story btw THEE (as usual)


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TeeHeeHee
post 21st May 2011, 10:33am
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Davy, Chrissie might have seen that Big Burd land on the Hudson not so long ago. Wonder if she got the camera oot? wink.gif


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wee davy
post 21st May 2011, 11:09am
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WHO says miracles DONT happen, eh?


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TeeHeeHee
post 21st May 2011, 11:41am
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I'll give you that Davy .. and Sullenberger should have been sainted. biggrin.gif


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Chrissie
post 25th May 2011, 05:54am
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THH,
You're too funny. I was visualizing what was happening while I was reading your post. Chalk one up for the pigeons. Sometimes the good guys win. biggrin.gif
We didn't see Sullie - he came down in a part of the Hudson that borders Manhattan. I'm miles upriver from there. He really is a hero and New Yorkers know it. Sullie gets treated well here.
What I did see once was three big rooks trying to divebomb a hawk out of the sky. Believe it or not they couldn't do it. Not too long after that the big rooks left the neighbourhood. Coincidence?


Wee Davie,
We are neither of us very technical in oor hoose. Bill used to be a better than me but no more. When we try to do something we usually end up sqsuabbling. You're right tho. We should keep a camera at the ready. When my son comes over in August I'll get him to pick us one we can work. We think the printer is broken because we can't get it to print words. It goes through the motions but the paper comes out blank. We read the book and bickered for a week before we gave up. Another job for Willie, my son. I think I'll need to get a new computer, one of those all in one kind. We have too many plugs to put in. The 2 for sound are unplugged because of this. Ah well. Ma poor mammy never even had a phone - or a TV. So we're lucky to have this technology. smile.gif





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TeeHeeHee
post 25th May 2011, 09:27am
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Chrissie,
I was always tempted to leave a gap uncovered by that wire mesh so the pigeons could get back in; after all it was their Big (But and) Benn but my mate was paying me for the week's work (it took that long) and his uncle was paying him so having accepted the Church's shilling - or Deutschmark in that case - the job had to be done right.
I wondered if when the architecs were working out the stresses on the arches and roof they were thinking, like ...
"We'd better take a couple o' tons o' doo-poo intae consideration".
"Well, Hans, we've allowed for ten tons o' snow."
"Aye, Fritz, but the snow melts." tongue.gif laugh.gif

The church was on the outskirts of Grenzach-Wyhlen (SW Germany) and a thing that always made me laugh; although you shoudn't really, was that on entering the area where this church was we passed a house each morning where some rotten bugger had sprayed in really large letters, "Here lives a sto-sto-stotterer." laugh.gif
Y' have tae laugh some times even when you shouldn't.


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Wait a minute ... I've got my eye on a burd.

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ionnsaigh
post 25th May 2011, 09:50am
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Sunday tomorrow, nae dinner,
So am aff tae George Square,
Wae a jaykit, an a brick,
The doo, the poor man's chicken,
A salute the humble doo. rolleyes.gif


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Crewsy Fixer
post 26th May 2011, 12:06am
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Anyone remember the pidgeon song from way back, Frank Sinatra I think.

Therer is a belter of a vid on you tube of The Pidgeon during the Rangers V St Mirren League cup final, watch out for The Pigeon in the replays, it looks like the pidgeon has taken part in the goal.

Nothing to do with Rangers Watch the Pidgeon.

http://youtu.be/r-4qpXEou3c
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ionnsaigh
post 26th May 2011, 12:13pm
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Things are economically tight just now, but what the heck, we are having a big doo at Christmas.
( Can't afford a Turkey )


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Crewsy Fixer
post 27th May 2011, 12:14am
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Copyright Harry Enfield and The Scousers

Deh doo do dont deh do.

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Chrissie
post 28th May 2011, 05:34am
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A few people in Shettleston ate doos. I remember one lady always having a pot hanging on the black lead grate with pigeons in it. Guess she made stew or soup. A guy I knew who worked in some of the best eating places in NY told me that they served pigeon in them; called it squab. He swore a guy got them from Central Park. rolleyes.gif
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wee davy
post 28th May 2011, 10:06am
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Ahm sure many's a wee glescae urchin spat oot some lead shot, frae Sunday Dinner!


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TeeHeeHee
post 28th May 2011, 10:33am
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I read once of a King who ate Blackbirds in a pie.
Quite a dainty dish apparently. tongue.gif laugh.gif


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Wait a minute ... I've got my eye on a burd.

... Some try to tell me thoughts they cannot defend ...
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wee davy
post 28th May 2011, 10:40am
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Good moaning THEE. Fancy meeting yoo here! Ah thoat ye'd be oan yer cats thread again. Me and cats have never really seen eye to eye - I suppose it wiz mibbe efter ma brother committed 'caticide' by 'looking efter' ma wee Tam- bit he forgoat tae tell me he'd just moved intae a 14 story block of flats

Cats do NOT hiv nine lives, from the 8th floor up!

(BELEEVE ME! lol)


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