T'was a cold, foggy Christmas Eve in Easterhoose
At each cheery windae wiz a fairy lit spruce
Jack Frost the Bam, wiz oot looking for a fight
Santa wiz his victim this starlit night.
Jack scooted ower the streets and aw the roofs
Hoping the reindeer would slip on their hooves
The scheme resembled a scene in Dr Zhivago
Jack was the Boss on the outskirts of Glasgow.
A wee red speck appeared in the sky
Ho ho ho was Santa's battlecry.
The wee, big rid speck was Rudolph's snout
The Reindeer Team werny for messing about.
Vixen and Comet thought Jack Frost a chancer
We'll batter his melt screamed oot Big Dancer
Donner and Blitzen felt up for some sport
They called out to Rudolph to land at the Fort.
Cupid and Prancer were up for the cause
Screamin, '' Naebody takes a lenny Santa Claus.''
Jack Frost did a perfect figure of eight
There he laid his claim to the whole Estate.
Every wee frost bit wiz a jaggy big knife
Landing oan wan wid take a reindeer life.
Jack stood oan the Moffats roof in Stepford Road
Then Mrs Moffat's fairylights went intae overload
The frost oan the roof went drip drip drip
The weans in the hoose watched Jack Frost slip.
He landed in the road in a big pool of watter
Aw the big jaggy snowflakes started to shatter.
Santa laughed and took off in flurry
Easterhoose weans didny huv tae worry
Never mind aboot naughty or nice
Santa went doon aw their lums twice.
Jack Frost's plan was shot doon in flames
He was never a contender in the Reindeer games.
The Flame trees of Thikka were aw pit tae shame
Mrs Moffat's Christmas tree took aw the acclaim
She gave Santa his sherry and a wee mince pie
Then he blew her a kiss as he took to the sky.
Jim in his jammies stared until the sleigh was a speck
Then he went tae the puddle where Jack Frost hit the deck
His Da and his three wee sisters all cried '' Whoopee ''
Oor Mam's jist went doon in history....
A very Merry Christmas to all of you on the Glasgow Board xxx