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> Tales From The Broomielaw Pt2
post 27th Sep 2013, 01:44pm
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Tales from the broomielaw pt 2
Ah bet ye didnae know that I’ve been in some o’yer hooses! Aye many a time, an ah kin tell ye it’s me that’s glad tae be back here, some o’ the hooses ye widnae keep a pig in! wan wummins goat two cats an a dug, she disnae let them oot,so you kin imagine the smell! the cats are no too bad at least they kin use the sink, bit the poor dug goat tae wait till she gets hame then its oot the back tae dae its business Aye it’s a dogs life right a enough, Makes ye glad tae be a moose!, You’ll be wondering how we manage tae get oot? Easy! We jist go inta wan a’yer bags or pockets ,we dae it aw the time it gets a bit boring in here at times An I’ll tell ye we’re no the only thing that belongs here that goes inta a bag an oot the door!nae wonder the auld yins hardly get a decent biscuit,the packets av’e seen disappearing wid make ye sick.alang wi’ disinfectant, and boxes o’hankies ,they would lift anything so they wid!.wan time me and the wife felt like a wee break, intae a big broon bag we went, ah think it wis wan a’ the back-shifts,we could hardly stretch wir legs fir the amount o’ stuff she hid in it! well nae biscuits wi yer tea tonight boys! We got tae her hoose an’ the wife popped oot the bag,wer’e in that big cleaners hoose she dae ye know ah says! Look at the pile a’pans and plates in the sink, they’re’ no been washed for days! She said, and the chips trampled intae the carpet,ye kin tell it’s her hoose, aye right enough the place wis hoaching,mind you iv’e been in worse but a’cannae think where!!I’t’s goat that lived in look the wife said ,lived in wi’ a’ family o’ pigs mair like.Oh! pardon me ah hivnae introduced myself ma names wee Josie Let me tell ye a bit aboot maself,A wis born at 176 Govan road in wan ae’ the auld tenements, tap flat, the people we stayed wi were great, hunners o’weans running aboot drapping crusts ,an bits a’ cakes aw o;re the flair.1961 was the year a right cauld winter it wis tae,Whits that?yes 1961,I’ll let ye intae a secret, the only deid moose you’ll see is some auld wan who’s been a bit slow lifting the cheese oot the backbreakers,or miybee wan a’ the young wans that’s downed a bit o’ poison. Ma faithers still kicking aboot an he’s in his 70’s, we kin go oan fir years If ye land in the right hoose.Efter we left govan we spent a couple o’weeks oot in a place they call the” Mulk,”jees oh’ talk aboot rough! In wan hoose we stayed in, the coalman used tae drap the bags a’ coal straight oonta the flair in the living room, ten aw a family’stayed in that hoose and wan wis mankier than the other,the auld maw,tried her best, bit the weans were like cannibals,ah hid to find somewhere else to stay, ah wis starving ye could’nae get a crumb wi aw’ the weans they wid eat anything that wis lying aboot ,ah ended up staying wi this wummin who kept a cat, noo another thing we get oan fine wi cats,ye get the odd wan that wants tae show aff, bringing wee burds intae the hoose and catching the odd rat,bit they jist want an easy life, and as long as we don’ttouch any o’their meat they leave us alane.only wan thing wrang wi staying here, ye couldnae get a decent kip if it wisnae men coming tae the
door at aw oors, it wis the wummin herself drinking the wine and shouting aw night,the only time ye could sleep wis when she went tae her work,ah think she worked fir the council in wan a’ they homes fir the auld yins,she brings hame the same things as the big cleaner only a lot mair,we I've been staying the auld sailors home fir aboot 10 years noo and the auld guy Ah live wi is awright a bit manky and he’s no right in the heid ah heard him say tae auld jimmy the pot-man that he’d fell doon stairs in the dry-dock in Govan hisnae been the same since.Well last week he took wan ae his turns, turned oon aw the taps and flooded the place “man ove board” he wis shouting ,throwing the lifebelt that wis hinging oan the wa doon’three flairs it landed oan auld sannys heid “get that heidbanger oot o’here the auld yins were shouting, nutcase so he is should be in hawkheid, aye a straitjaiket is whit he needs said jimmy the pot-man, the mans aff his heid
Sure enough a couple a’ oors later two guys wi white coats came and carted him away,of course ye kin go ashore captain ,jist slip intae this jaiket an well be oan wir wey as they put him intae the van”,Good riddance” ya nutter they aw shouted,bit if they only knew who wis gonnae get his room they wid hiv gladly taken him back

Sunny Govan.
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