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> Cows, the clever farmer.......
carmella
post 6th Apr 2016, 12:09am
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A farmer named Sam was overseeing his herd in a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Sam looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the Farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Sam.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car.
Then Sam says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Member of the European Parliament", says Sam.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered Sam. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.


AND THAT Friends IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS WITH THE EU clap.gif thumbup.gif


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Silence is a true friend who never betrays.

Confucius - Chinese Philosopher - [551bc-479bc]
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Betsy2009
post 6th Apr 2016, 06:54am
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Dave Grieve
post 6th Apr 2016, 08:04am
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laugh.gif Thanks Carmella I needed that thumbup.gif
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tombro
post 6th Apr 2016, 10:02am
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That is an absolute ripper !

Tombro laugh.gif laugh.gif


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carmella
post 6th Apr 2016, 02:54pm
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another good one coming up.


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Silence is a true friend who never betrays.

Confucius - Chinese Philosopher - [551bc-479bc]
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john.mcn
post 6th Apr 2016, 04:48pm
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laugh.gif


You'll have the humour police onto you for that wink.gif


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“The most puzzling development in politics during the last decade is the apparent determination of Western European leaders to re-create the Soviet Union in Western Europe.”
Mikhail Gorbachev
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