Glasgow Guide Home

Whats On Glasgow Guide
  Glasgow What's On


    Glasgow Reviews


    Glasgow Gallery


      Glasgow Links
Discuss | Guestbook | Postcard | News | Weather | Feedback | Search | About | What's New
Glasgow Guide Discussion Boards

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )                >> View Today's Topics <<

 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Lion Taming, recruitment for the circus.
carmella
post 1st Feb 2016, 11:12pm
Post #1


Mega City Key Holder
******
Posts: 4,953
Joined: 28th Jul 2003
From: South Ayrshire
Member No.: 58
A circus owner put out an advert for a ‘lion tamer wanted’ and two people showed up......

One was a retired golfer in his late-sixties and the other was a drop-dead gorgeous brunette with a terrific body in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner said to them... "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The gorgeous brunette said, "I'll go first."

She walked past the chair, the whip and the gun and stepped right into the cage. The lion started to snarl and pant and began to charge her.

As he got close, the gorgeous brunette threw open her coat revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body. The lion stopped dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawled up to her and started licking her feet and ankles. He continued to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes, then lay down and rested his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw was on the floor!!!

He said "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!"

He then turned to the retired golfer and asked him... "Can you top that?"

The old golfer replied, "Possibly..well maybe...
but you've got to get that lion out of there first."


--------------------
Silence is a true friend who never betrays.

Confucius - Chinese Philosopher - [551bc-479bc]
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Heather
post 1st Feb 2016, 11:19pm
Post #2


Mega City Key Holder
******
Posts: 11,250
Joined: 23rd Nov 2003
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Member No.: 664
Carmella, you are naughty. laugh.gif laugh.gif


--------------------
Heather.......I'm tartan. Alba gu Brath. Saor Alba
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
carmella
post 1st Feb 2016, 11:21pm
Post #3


Mega City Key Holder
******
Posts: 4,953
Joined: 28th Jul 2003
From: South Ayrshire
Member No.: 58
thumbup.gif tongue.gif


--------------------
Silence is a true friend who never betrays.

Confucius - Chinese Philosopher - [551bc-479bc]
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
dannyball
post 27th Mar 2016, 08:40pm
Post #4

Visitor
***
Posts: 21
Joined: 8th Mar 2016
Member No.: 32,769
Another great joke Carmella. I would have been more than happy with the lion's share!!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
carmella
post 30th Mar 2016, 09:58pm
Post #5


Mega City Key Holder
******
Posts: 4,953
Joined: 28th Jul 2003
From: South Ayrshire
Member No.: 58
laugh.gif thumbup.gif


--------------------
Silence is a true friend who never betrays.

Confucius - Chinese Philosopher - [551bc-479bc]
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
wellfield
post 31st Mar 2016, 04:01pm
Post #6


Mega City Key Holder
******
Posts: 3,466
Joined: 21st Dec 2007
From: southern california
Member No.: 5,235
Ha' Ha'....I'm next!!!.....chuckle
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
*Billy Boil*
post 20th Apr 2016, 08:55pm
Post #7






On the subject of animal acts; my father on one of the frequent occasions he left home, joined a circus for a while. He explained to me how the big cats were trained. The fore paws of cubs were shaved to the skin. The exposed areas were then subject to whips being applied with the accompanying whip cracks. This caused the animals great agony and like all animals respond in fear to the cracking of a whip. I watched a documentary last night about a trained elephant in a "hire out" animal training complex, go "wild" at a circus in Hawaii killing its' handler, escaping and rampaging through the streets, killing another person before being gratuitously used as target practise for various police forces.

There was a great deal of analysis as to why this elephant should turn on its' trainers (jailers). I can tell them in terse succinct words. It had had enough.
If you never feel the need to go and see animals forced to perform for your entertainment and carried around in cages that hardly contain them, think of the humiliation and angst felt by that elephant and spend the time instead watching David Attenborough.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Rab
post 20th Apr 2016, 10:03pm
Post #8


Mega City Key Holder
******
Posts: 11,355
Joined: 17th Aug 2012
From: STILL opposite the Golf Club!.
Member No.: 13,266
Attached Image



Attached Image


--------------------
Back to using my original name... Rab
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
zascot
post 21st Apr 2016, 05:07am
Post #9


Super City Key Holder
******
Posts: 985
Joined: 1st Nov 2003
From: johannesburg south africa
Member No.: 612
QUOTE (Billy Boil @ 20th Apr 2016, 08:55pm) *
On the subject of animal acts; my father on one of the frequent occasions he left home, joined a circus for a while. He explained to me how the big cats were trained. The fore paws of cubs were shaved to the skin. The exposed areas were then subject to whips being applied with the accompanying whip cracks. This caused the animals great agony and like all animals respond in fear to the cracking of a whip. I watched a documentary last night about a trained elephant in a "hire out" animal training complex, go "wild" at a circus in Hawaii killing its' handler, escaping and rampaging through the streets, killing another person before being gratuitously used as target practise for various police forces.

There was a great deal of analysis as to why this elephant should turn on its' trainers (jailers). I can tell them in terse succinct words. It had had enough.
If you never feel the need to go and see animals forced to perform for your entertainment and carried around in cages that hardly contain them, think of the humiliation and angst felt by that elephant and spend the time instead watching David Attenborough.

Billy I think of that every time I go to our game reserves. Pilanesburg is a small reserve but is still 20 kilometres in diameter and the animals are free to roam and must survive on their own, no intervention unless say Rhino poachers leave an injured animal. Its great to see animals in their natural habitat and not locked up. Elephants can cover up to 40 kilometres a day, can you imagine them being locked in a 20 x 20 metre cage. Kruger Park is massive , it is bigger than Wales so the animals are free and comparitivly safe from hunters of the human kind.I have been to many parks in Africa but don`t think I could visit a circus, think I would freak out .


--------------------
Take only photos. Leave only footprints. Kill only time.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

Fast ReplyReply to this topicStart new topic

 



RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 26th Apr 2017

All material in the site Glasgow Guide is copyright of the Glasgow Guide Organisation. This material is for your own private use only, and no part of the site may be reproduced, amended, modified, copied, or transmitted to third parties, by any means whatsoever without the prior written permission of the copyright owner. All rights reserved.

Glasgow Hotels: book cheap hotels in Glasgow online now.