Glasgow Guide Home

Whats On Glasgow Guide
  Glasgow What's On


    Glasgow Reviews


    Glasgow Gallery


      Glasgow Links
Discuss | Guestbook | Postcard | News | Weather | Feedback | Search | About | What's New
Glasgow Guide Discussion Boards

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )                >> View Today's Topics <<


  Replying to Home Made Tales
Enter your Name
Anti-spam code
Security Code Confirmation
Confirm security code
Loading Image
You should NOT see this if you are REGISTERED and LOGGED IN.
 

Post Options
 Enable Smilies?
 


Last 10 Posts [ In reverse order ]
peter.howden Posted Today, 07:31pm
  Infinity minus one;

Somewhere in Scotland....in a once proud, but now dilapidated building, a constant rubbing noise, relentlessly scrapping sort of din...a chilling hum, right behind the thin protection of the shaking walls of unknown strength. A exposed group of startled, near panicking peoples huddled together, due to space confinement rather than choice, forced to share intimate feisty responses and emotions usually hidden from any other soul. The pathetic group completely ignorant if human life existed elsewhere

The emergency battery lighting blinked sporadically, everything electronic was non operative. No contact could be made with the outside world, if there was such a thing left, as every computer, every phone, every apparatus, or anything relying of vital internet satellite worldwide web...was now completely defunct. No satellite no man-made contraption remained operative from that fatal period.

In a universal elapsed moment, an unpredicted powerful Steller flare-up “Super Nova’...fleetingly outshone the entire ‘Milky Way’ galaxy, radiating massively more energy as the actual Sun. This uncalculated collapse changed Earth’s rotating angle, against the right-handed rule of 23.5 degrees...to minus 1.34 degrees. Every 92 of the Earth’s elements instantly altered, as did the density of the once blue planet. The atmosphere just plunged.

With the moon completely off-balance, causing acceleration orbit and destroying earth’s tides and the so called atmosphere static without wind. Disseminated electric and atom tremors have turned the all-inclusive form of existence, every species of life on the entire planet, have become carnivores or blood sucking miniature vampires including; Parasites... Mosquitoes... Hornets...Black fly....Bees...wasps...Ticks...the list is endless throughout the world.

Within the crumpled building, the frightened penitentiary remaining occupants, huddle within the dark stale room. Lifesaving air condition bottled oxygen aeration, operated by battery, is lifelessly silent because they daren’t open the airborne vents leading from the crumpled structure...in fear what may enter....unwanted. Clamours from outside, constantly try penetrating the last defence off ill-practical walls shuddering under immense pressure...deemed to be flying swarms of killer midgies.

Over the past alarming weeks, while contacts over the old fashioned airwaves was possible, the dreaded news in Scotland of close total inhalation of human beings in every hamlet, Town, City... by these flying doom carriers... then the airwaves croaked......Now in isolation they may be the last of the human race... with the paradox...barricaded in the premises of Glasgow University...once biologically working on a serum… to prevent midgies biting indiscriminately!

Is it worth praying?~
peter.howden Posted 30th Jun 2020, 07:36pm
  Granddad’s letter.

It is amazing to watch just how much our children change over the years, where we were lucky...and luck has a lot to do with it... our family held on to being good natured and decent people who respected their parents and Grandma, but simply idolized granddad. They were so impressed of his life story, which over the years his whole family reckoned they knew every step he had ever taken throughout his 89 years. Almost the moment each one of his family was born, he gently steered them, before bedtime, read ‘Fairy Tales’ holding a moral attitude. These ethical tales mixed up with events throughout his own long life, his grandchildren felt privileged to stay at his home.

On several occasions, with a wry smile he declared, when he had broad shoulders, because of dire circumstances, as he put it, he went down the pits shafts as a Banker man, among cursed Blackdamp… stole his best mate from him. Later, after the miners’ strike in 1943, witnessed and worked with Bevin boys… held them in high esteem

One thing always remained a mystery, an unopened stamped letter, clearly addressed to Grandpapa, inside an extravagant photo frame, taking pride and place on the lintel of the ever-burning ingle-neuk. Granddad was asked about this despatch many times, his answers were evasive, or talked around it with another anecdote, remaining constantly enigmatic. The respect the entire family held for their proud grandparent, they never mentioned he forgot to specify the reason for the posted despatch…and no one knew when it was delivered…or why it was kept sealed.

Unfortunately, even strong old oxen’ have a contract with passing nature, as did ‘Boxer’, the strong determined but ignorant horse from Animal Farm. Now his hour had come, quietly, with everyone he loved, and they loved him, being at his bedside. After the terrible shock and heart crushing loss, which would never go away, they had a wake, talking only about their recollections and wisdom of their much-treasured Grandpa.

Their warm memories sprung thick and fast, with every word uttered held tenderness from within the hearts of respective orators, until one family member caught a glimpse of the letter, on the mantelpiece, sort of glowing radiated from the coal fire. ‘I wonder what is in the letter’ said the inquisitive youngster, as he moved towards the fireplace…then unexpectedly stopped in his track by Granny…who softly spoke, ‘I believe it’s time the family knew your Grandfather’s secret’.
She calmly motioned all present, to sit down and pay attention, then continued. ‘we found out way back, your grandfather had ‘Alexia’ disorder. An unusual quietness surrounded the room, you would have heard a pin as their elderly granny continued in a low sincere voice.

‘He believed, it must have been caused when a cranky mule kicked him, at the side of his head, just about the same time we became one for each other…some 68years ago’, Grandma, near tears explained, ‘once he had recovered at home, there was no money for fancy doctors, we made a pact…no one would be told’. She stopped to take a few breaths, then added; ‘maybe he was holding suborn pride, but from that very day…we set up home, I took all the lettering, bill paying and the like…he was a good man, he worked hard for his money’

One of the older children present, pipped up ‘But gran, Granddad read, great fairy stories, to all of us, every time we were at your house… word for word perfect’. The grey-haired lady smiled, ‘we practiced for two nights before you came, apart from reading and writing, he had a good memory and active brain’. ‘He tried for years to be literate …but for some reason, it just did not happen…we were non-believers, so we could not blame him!’.

Taking time to sip some black tea, she added, ‘some 50 years ago, that very letter arrived, and Granddad decided, if he could not read it…it would stay unopened’. She inhaled a deep breath before restarting with, ‘Well that was not strictly true…we both thought it may be a letter, from the authorities, asking us to go to court…because we were not married, we jumped the broomsticks!’

The family sat there in total silence, but just gaping at this kind Nanna, with astonishment. The oldest son asked when they would open this letter. The mother smiled shyly ‘it was your father’s secret all this time; it will be buried with him’.
peter.howden Posted 29th Jun 2020, 05:11am
  ‘The Key’(2)

The Dastardly Schemes


Silent rumours have drifted in the wind, relating to the depths of depravity ‘The Key’ scheduled, and practiced schemes for, yet , almost every individual nation, regime, corrupt politicians and tyrants chose to obey impotently when ‘The Key’ demanded controlling status, total Immunity from investigation sternly expected, while most of the populations were ignorant of the sly facts . The exclusive worldwide unbreakable contracts with almost every state president , prime minister, premier, or ruler, were wholly privy to this being true… ‘The Key’, holds total control nigh the whole globe, honest and unethical organizations .

Although it may be ‘Chinese whispers’, allegedly, ‘The Key’ callously systematically ran through statistics, to send each month, 19 % of children in their care, into darken dungeon holes of illicit sweat shops, limitless servitude around the four corners of their venal empire. When the exhausted ,sick starving children pathetically died before their time, the demised funerals paid by avaricious companies and governments able to raise citizens taxes. Misinformation discharged throughout the airwaves, hiding appalling human behaviour, behind the tragedy of predicted broods running away from their homes, which already exists in all societies.

Mafia crime syndicate seven groups, Golden triangle, Khan, and heavies Ndrangheta, of the past, violently cease to exist, unless signing the silent clique code, that all traffickers in such a trade, henceforth organized, and turned by ‘The Key’. The gangs and peoples with monies illicitly gained, endorsed such deals, seeing such contracts a way to clean up dirty monies, but soon realized they were dead end pacts, costing exceptionally additional returns than what they put in.

As the law demands no unconfirmed testimony, Individual clients from international stock markets, led to the financial ruination by…’No get out’, without death agreements, via organized monetary slaughterhouses…no one complains… for above all… fear, coupled with no one can be trusted.

Next …Reputed, final solution
peter.howden Posted 24th Jun 2020, 07:07pm
  ‘The Key’(1)

‘The key’ is international phenomenon commercial enterprise , extremely beyond any international institution, towering over global banks, Empires Nations and States. . Awards for humanity, from countless governments, endless peoples and universities, honourable societies rendering esteem scholarships hosted onto the magical enticing named ‘ The key’

It costs a mere £10,000 a week, sometimes keenly more, to belong to this elite society , where, without question, each individual’s whims are catered for, within luxury apartments, based all over their realm, throughout the globe. well thought out adverts, flamboyantly persuaded each associate ( never termed clients or customers) have no bounds apart from good taste.

No matter the difficulties in organizing, no question where, when, or how, every wishful sphere of influence, is but only a twinkled thought away from the fingertips of the payee. The desires of the extraordinary institution offer a magical once in a lifetime, worldwide overshadowed Disneyland, for the young, the middle aged, but most important, the elderly… all with money, of course.

It is not only the affluent clientele who benefit from ‘The Key’, around the world, as hundreds of thousands, if not millions of all grades, gain employment throughout their establishments. Many economies believe, ‘The Key’ is the miracle responsible for their financial stability, and employment success

Postcards displaying written excitement, sprinkled with absolute amazement, are in full view for relations and friends of the associates, to vouch ‘The key’ ‘are providing their precious loved ones, luxury beyond utopia. Unfortunately, when one’s final curtain has arrived, a gratuitous insurance policy is at hand, it will be organized with dignity and peace, completely without pain. Their bodies or their ashes, whatever was’ the associates’ wish, delivered to the families for personal devotions and final rest

Next…the Scheme
peter.howden Posted 23rd Jun 2020, 12:47pm
 
Above…and beyond

Due to the scary fact, we are in lockdown within our homes, living abnormal existences as best we can adapting our focuses. There are the most spectacular, magnificent, utterly out of this world glorious phenomenon sunrises, and sunsets, over the Glasgow sky, as anywhere in the world.

Before this horrendous virus, the population, allowed this potent enchantment, to go un-noticed, because of the tiresome tread board of life. The visible heavens, you can almost touch just above…normally does not get a look in, except when on holiday, and even then, it is in the backdrop of some trivial photograph. We take our sky for granted, while in our homes.

Even if invisible, the sun constantly shines every day of the year, as a natural advert to entice you to Egypt, and the like, but the sun always, every single day, looks down on Glasgow. This free daily event, has the power to challenge the very gods themselves…. go on, spoil yourself… stop and wonder …have a peek…
peter.howden Posted 21st Jun 2020, 01:22pm
  My Chronicles 21/06//2020;
Pay the price

‘She who must be obey’; has raw Celtic blood flowing through her veins, behaves like a true Irish tinker when it comes to monies, or simply purchasing goods…on the other hand, I’ve been gifted with part Nordic blood, conceivably more accurate would be Viking partisan behaviour most of my life. Yet, against such a vibrate inherit grain, I’m easy-going about money, if I have it, I spend it…if I haven’t, I’ll stoop to either scrounging , or tout, or obtain it by varies other means. There has been the odd accusation of living as a con man, which I can’t deny the allegation, on legal grounds…however, perhaps colourful imitative persuasion would be nearer the mark

Unfortunately, the monotonous lockdown, rightfully imposed on the Scottish population, has turned my finely tweaked instincts, closer to a perceived miser status. This financial cutback is shining on the humble Brillo pads, and the wee green washing up sponge/grinder. With ruthless determination, managed to conquer the throwaway attitude of such kitchen aids, to near continuous labour savers. Mixed with canny usage and proper separate drying of these said items, each industrious pad last well over 10 days of constant use, but the real pride is with the wee green sponges/grinder…reaching close to five weeks

With overall auld Scottish blood flooding my body, stepping up to the line, doing my bit, within this time which calls for the coupling prudence and action during the lockdown. A wily idea is my contribution which may allow a feeble place among famed Scottish inventors in the sciences. At the moment, unable to meet twa China’s for a slight refreshment of the famous; ‘Water of life’…brought on a surge to overcome such a tragedy, to prepare my stomach to become an elite prodigy. Over the next weeks, setting and educate a part of my abdomen, to be vacuum-packed airtight, only for controlled intimate short periods, foiling any serious consequences.

Accumulating within, a host of numerous fruits, varied vegetables, extra yeast, re-energizing sugar will be my goal. Left to ferment into alcohol by turning into ethanol. The cunning result, to drip produce a slightly course… but portable alcohol, casually seeping into my body …although, a problem remains…. I’m still marooned without China company…perhaps by then, I will fail to notice?
peter.howden Posted 18th Jun 2020, 06:57pm
  My Chronicles 19/06//2020;

“She who must be obeyed’, and I are still trudging along for the majority of the time, simply because we are each other’s shepherd and companion during the deadly disease which caused lockdown days. I find at best tedious, but now and then a hassle, continuously empty in lost days unable to break the cycle, but the weeks, just vanish as in they don’t, or didn’t exist in the first place. We must endeavour not allowing this naughty virus as concealed weapon against reality, disparaging our sacred thoughts, plunging innocence into a timeless wary quagmire …apart from that…we are O.K

In appearance, I sense I’ve grown older in the last 8/9 weeks, than the last five years, owing to the response by either people we meet while doing Rebecca’s daily exercise walk around the block, or to me by Tesco/Morrison staff, at 6 o clock in the morning. They all show over attentiveness, at the drop of an imaginary hat, due to my crinkly appearance, not long for this existence. Or probably its owed to my often-facial expressions, reflecting a personal frame of mind while enduring umpteen murkier sensations.

No longer can I classify myself as a man who’s in, ‘latter years’, with still sufficient vim, for it takes me twice as long, to do half the work, and even longer trying to start the chore. The mind is just depleting towards a uncertainty…even reading the odd auld ‘Beano, with bouts of acting like Peter Pan, ’ has not released me from this edgy sensation… secrets, thought locked away deep in my memory .

While washing(without dish plan hands, as I use rubber gloves) a plate with a blue Chinese decorative pattern, which scooted my mind back to the mid-fifties…and the Gorbals. As the youngest in the family, I had a duty during the week, washing and drying the dinnerplates, but certainly not on Sunday’s, precious plates and silver cutlery served up, for use and aired.

Recently, moments of Toni has invaded, and stayed for a while, odd darkish things being relived. On leaving her Friday, I promised I would buy a small tin of Vaseline, for her dried lips. On the Saturday, while driving home, a call on my mobile, to go to the Southern General hospital. On arriving, Rebecca told me she had died with cancer…and I didn’t have the petroleum jelly with me. The tin is still in my ownership…How I wish I had gone back earlier…to give her the tin of Vaseline
peter.howden Posted 15th Jun 2020, 07:07am
  The tales of Hector and James(3/3)

Devout bafflement

As a 60s armature rock group, attempted to play higher decibels than required, so burying their inexperience, but everyone truly relished the buzz. After the dance, the couples went they separate ways, enjoying every crazy moment. The young local lass was seen home by Jim, while Hector’s dancing partner was taken to the family’s holiday carriage. It was clear to Hector, her parents, had a bob or two, hiring a whole railway carriage, totally refurbished for elite caravan status.

Arranging the following night, Jim agreed along with his date, to babysit for the young minister of St Andrews Blackadder church. Hector believed he had cracked it…but unsure in what he had actually cracked. Earlier, in the dancehall when the rock group had almost stopped twanging every electrical cord, and before powdering her nose, his English rose, in delicate tones inquired, “would you like to go to our Venetian party tomorrow night?”. Not to appear like a dupe, as did the Emperor with no cloths, Hector vigorously nodded, plus hollered Yes.

The boys prior to leaving, arranged to meet each other afterwards, in the ‘County Bar’, for liquid libation(having not mellowed to slight refreshments yet). Talking about events of this strange evening firmly, Hector tells Jim about being invited to a swanky, ‘Venetian party. With his mate looking puzzled Hector adds, “Possible a sociable upper crust get-together, showing slides from a Venice holiday, cheesy snacks and sipping rare wines…even water of life. While Jim gazed baffled to what ‘Venetian party’ actually was, Hector sneaked in, “you have no chance in a vicar’s manse, more like broken bread and water!”

Next night Jim and Hector were heading for the town, although with different destinations, each close to the country hotel. For Jim, a near certainty no beer appeared likely the highlight of his evening, while Hector was hitting the toff’s top table at a society do. Meeting his bird (not politically correct today} then headed in the opposite direction to Forth St. Coming across a rather tatty mission hall, populated by lots of people…Hector was about to pass when his companion beckoned him inside this rundown building. It turned out to be the name for a special ‘Vincentian’ information film, followed by one and a half hours of pious theory and teaching. The night before, due to the ear-piercing din in the hall, Hector heard’ Venetian’, not the actual word ‘Vincentian’ anyway he would not have known what the word meant either!.

Not an alcohol drink on site, or in sight… or even a dip stick, except Hector. Returning to their hidden camp rendezvous rather deflated , he found Jim, grinning from ear to ear, surround by cans of lager.
peter.howden Posted 12th Jun 2020, 07:03am
  The tales of Hector and James(2/3)

You cant tell a book by its cover

Jim.H and Hector, arrived and camped in a rough secluded area, right next to the coast in walking distance to the seaside town. Their first casual saunter along narrow pavement, in the narrow streets, was hampered while passing some local gawking youths, assembled outside cafes and chip shops, clad in leather gear, scraping fingernails with assorted instruments, but minus the motorbikes. Further on, other groups of adolescents, smoking fags, as in a French film at different stages, though just the area’s youths, protecting and rebelling within their patch.

Jim wore cool Buddy Holly glasses, reflecting a handsome disposition. Hector was rather scraggy, owning an obvious limp, while both were small in stature. Every time they hit town this harassment behaviour was repeated, irritating more than anything. The Glaswegians posed no threat to either the leather hardcases, or delinquents picking the nails with knives, although this stroll into territory of the native juveniles, thus allowed the home team to show off, flexing their muscles without danger.

The lads spotted a advert on a streetlight pole, exhibiting there was a dance, so Jim and Hector, decided to head into Berwick that night . They entered the harbour with suave and style, at least as best they could muster. Once again, the local team pushed and shoved, attempting to harass, with bumping them on the disco floor. The dance before the interval, the young lady Hector was with, asked where he came from. Hector was originally from the infamous , ‘Glasgow Gorbals’; and he told her so. During the break, a lot of chatter bounced around the hall, making the reaction afterwards quite amazing

Hector danced with a girl on holiday with her English parents, while Jim’s escort was a local girl. Hector had, for a short period, stayed in Gorbals Street in a large flat on top of a bank.

The effect of a name of Glasgow, in particular, “Gorbals”, was instant, for as they walked through the crowd, it spread open before them. Bodies would make all effort to be out of reach for any physical contact, squashing and wrinkling to do just that. To all outsiders we were wee Glesga heidcase’s, and no chances could be taken. They danced with our prospective partners and banged into all in reach…with immunity. Not even a growl was displayed, so they carried on.

For the duration of the holiday, while sauntering down the café route, all bodies in front of the establishments, like the red sea parted, youth delinquents dispelled out of view, allowing Jim and Hector past. .Jim could never claim to be a fighter, waif Hector, according to Mr and Mrs H, was a bit of a scallywag, but….everyone local thought they were both from…. you known where?

Notorious Reputation outguns reality.
-=-=-=-=
peter.howden Posted 10th Jun 2020, 11:31am
  When young, I was too lazy to seek perfection, now being older, I still don’t seek it, with the theory when perfection is achieved, no matter in what arena, you are never satisfied again
Review the complete topic (launches new window)
RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 2nd Jul 2020

All material in the site Glasgow Guide is copyright of the Glasgow Guide Organisation. This material is for your own private use only, and no part of the site may be reproduced, amended, modified, copied, or transmitted to third parties, by any means whatsoever without the prior written permission of the copyright owner. All rights reserved.

Glasgow Hotels: book cheap hotels in Glasgow online now.