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> Interviewed To Be Married, interrogation by clergy
big tommy
post 5th Mar 2009, 09:21pm
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Did anyone have this experience ,I wonder ?

In April 1954, Jean and decided it was time to go see the priest in order to get married. We had a little room and kitchen all decorated and furnished, sitting like a little palace just waiting for us to move in.

Now the priest in St Matthew's, namely Father Quinn ,was one of the old type Irish priests. In other words HE WAS A HOLY TERROR!!

When we asked him to marry us he refused us, telling us we must go for an interview with him so he could discuss it with us. We had never heard of this before, but as the Parish was a new one we knew we had to go along with it.

It turned out to be more than just an interview: IT WAS MORE LIKE AN INQUISITION!!

He roared at Jean shouting in her face: "And just why do you want to get married young girl?"

Jean then made the mistake of saying "I don't know Father."

WELL! That set him off! "You must know girl, it is not just to satisfy carnal desires."

Jean could have crawled into the nearest hole and let the ground swallow her up.

Again he roared at her "It is to have as many children as possible and bring them up as good Catholics."

Jean's face was bright red by this time, but he never let up on her. She was ready to run away. Then, when he had her in tears, he turned to me and roared: "Do you know why you are getting married, young man?"

But by this time I had learned my lesson. "Of course Father. It is to have as many children as possible and bring them up as good Catholics."

Jean was all for going somewhere else to get married. But the priest had our banns in order to read them out.So we couldn't very well ask for them back. In the end he agreed to marry us on the 22 May 1954.

We dreaded our wedding day in case Father Quinn might make a Gospel out of our vows. BUT!! By a strange twist of fate, Father Quinn dropped dead just three days before our wedding.

On the day, it was a stand-in priest name Father Euan Docherty (who was a very young man indeed) who took our wedding ceremony.

Before it began, he came up to me very nervously and said: "I hope you don't mind my nerves. You see Thomas, this is my first wedding."

I replied: "Don't worry Father, it is mine as well." He must have made a good job of it, for we were married for forty-nine years, seven months and eight days until Jean's sudden death on 30 December 2003.

So it really was "until death do us part."


As for lots of children? We had a boy and a girl born seven and a half years apart.

Big Tommy






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joycewilson
post 13th Mar 2009, 09:37am
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Well done Bigtommy and Mrs....good to hear a nice story of lasting love....lol well ya didnt have a big catholic family after all lol x All the best xxxxxx
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Isobel
post 13th Mar 2009, 10:56pm
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Well my experience with my interview 35 years ago was quite different .We had a lovely priest who put both of us at ease. Jim being non catholic he was pretty nervous, no problems at all. Nothing much as changed, the kids all go for a marriage prep. They have lots of good information given to them. My girls both had a lawyer,come in and speak to the group, another night it was a doctor ,They actually had a good time in both cases they met other young couples and have remained friends.My daughter who has just had a baby is looking forward to the baptismal prep classes. So in my opinion its all good.Perhaps if more young couples had to make this preparations for marriage there would be less mistakes made.


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big tommy
post 13th Mar 2009, 11:18pm
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Dear Isobel

It certainly did us no harm .We had 49 worderful years ,7 months and 8 days .
We had our ups and downs of course ,but I wouldnt have changed anything for the world .
After 5 years we had our first child . A son who we named james after his grandfather . Then 7 and a half years later Jean gave birth to a baby daughter who we named Aileen . Well worth the long wait .
When Jean died in 2003 I was heart broken . I still am at times .

Tommy


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lindamac
post 14th Mar 2009, 08:02am
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I do think that these interviews have their place in a young couples life especialy nowadays,although I cannot speak for the catholic churches practices here However I can say that in the Christian churches here where I once worked as a counselor had a great system in place not just for the about to be married couples but also for the newly engaged couples too.In the programme set in place they[the couples] have to do a 6week course of interviews & lectures on Life body mind & spirit etc etc before the Minister/Pastor marrys them otherwise they arent allowed to be married by that specific Minister/pastor so a lot depends on the individual churshes/priestsministerspastors & where you are.I had a civil wedding in Martha street due to the fact I married a non believer whom refused to wed in a church untill he felt sure there realy wasa God[at the time but life changed that decision for my husband Iam still awaiting the church Blessing he promised me down the track mind you & we are 25yrs married now LOLso much for that LOL] so there was a 2 minute meet with the registrar & off we went into the ceremony I thought it most impersonal since I love to be spiritual & suchlike so i found it very sad that my ceremony was a tad impersonal & we never had met the registrar prior to that moment.


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Elma
post 14th Mar 2009, 04:37pm
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We attended a marriage preparation course 50 years ago this year. It was in Broomhill Congregational Church in Glasgow where I had been a member and also a Sunday School teacher for many years. In Canada my elder son and my daughter also had prep courses when they got married in the United Church. My younger son was married by a Justice of the Peace in Kamloops, B.C. nine years ago but they also were required to take a simplified course before he would perform the ceremony. I now attend the Presbyterian Church here in my small town, we don't have very many weddings or baptisms but our minister is adamamt that some kind of preparation course is given.

I don't think we were asked very personal questions, I think it was more the spiritual and life side, to be honest I can't really remember but they must have worked as we had a happy 39 years 9 months together.
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big tommy
post 15th Mar 2009, 02:01pm
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My daughter never bothered with a marriage intervew . She moved out of the house to live in a room and kitchen in Springburn with her boyfriend .

2 years later they had a baby daughter ( Mary-Jane) who i adore by the way . Then they deciced to marry, so they bought a house in Bishopbriggs and moved in .
No more children though although they wanted more .

Then when my wife died they decided to move in with me .It has not always been plain sailing i can assure you ,but we get by.

So after all this time ,my daughter is back living wiith me Although the hose is now uo for sale.
Will keep you posted

Tommy


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