Dear Diary, A wee daily blether.... Options

[Avril]

Hey maggies, welcome hen..noo that ye've found yer feet ye'll huv tae come in tae the cyber bar and dae a bit o' pole dancing, me an' Linda will show ye how it's done, nae bother!

Dear Diary
Must get that pole back fae oor firemen frien's!!!

[maggies]

Evening Georgia,,thx u for the welcome,,now bout this cyber cafe,,,my feet cant find it,,,am up for a bit of pole dancing,,might get some of the weight off ive gained over xmas,lol hope ur well

[Avril]

Maggies, Come alang tae ma hoose an' huv a wee bounce oan ma trampoline, it's only a wee indoors wan but ye'll be daein' somersaults an ' tum'lin' o'er yer wilkies in nae time.....ah cin bounce fae ma trampoline ontae the tap o' ma fireman's pole....

Dear Diary,

This year, ah'm workin' oan a new cabaret act fur the cyber pub. Ah'm gonnie add the trampoline tae ma pole dancin' routine

[maggies]

hi georgia,,,put kettle on henam on me way,,,is ur house the one with the fire engine outside,lol,amno that far away am on the south coast

[Avril]

maggies, jist follow the blue flashin' lights an' listen fur the sirens hen, ye'll find me at the end o' them!


Dear Diary,

Must remember tae replace that blue light bulb in 2007!

[maggies]

cooeeeeeee georgia am shouting fru ur letter box but u canny hear me fur the blooming sirens lol

[stuarty]

java a found where the deer was hidin out soo clever so he is and no ideer

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[Anne1]

Hi Stuarty, that is a very very clever deer nae wonder java cannae find it, where do you find all these things
Cheers l:

[Java]

Dear Diary,

Have spent the day visitin poorly sick person in hospital. Spent half of visitin time in emergency as collapsed at prices charged in car park. Tis no wonder people are sick. Nurse left trolley at bedside of sick person, so bandaged sick person head to toe in order to get moneys worth. Also put plasters on car park attendants peeces – will not be able to visit sick person again in near future.

Tried to do 7500 piece jigsaw….was too hard so glued all pieces together and cut into easier shapes….picture is now rubbish but have put lid of box in bin so no-one will know.

[Lennox]

Dear Diary,

  Spent half of visitin time in emergency as collapsed at prices charged in car park.  Tis no wonder people are sick. 

Dear, Java's Diary
If I had to pay to park at a hospital I would collapse as well, why do you have to pay to go to the hospital? Do they not get enough of your money, oops scratch that diary I forgot you don't pay when you go into the hospital, you have the national health..... I am probaly gonna get in trouble now, oh that is the story of my life so far this year, so I'll just quit while I am a head.

[lindamac]

dear diary am jist wunnerring witt actually becomes o awe the dough ray me that is earned via a hospitals car park? and would be gledd furra a itemised paperchase ..................oh and eventualy get nae whurr fast and weel mays well gie up the noo seeing as a huv a ferr idea o witts ahead o me

dear javas diary oan second thought al jist mind ma ain beeswax cos its as slippery as the governments lengthy unreasonable way to reason wi the people and well being as a aweready know n that al gie it a bi.......................so anyways diary thats ma claw feet awe tidy n paitit up they didny bother wi the file .........cos neils predictions wurr right a had to get grindit wi the grinder as the pototti peeler n cheese peelers broke n thurr wisny any merr blades strong enuff

[maggies]

evening diary,,,how the devil are u

[Geezabrek]

Dear ja-di ... today I succumb-ded and ate another chocolate.. only another 6,003 to ignore then it's easter innit ? (Hey Stuarty.... that guy is gonna get a heck'ova surprise when nature calls in on that deer) ..

[Geezabrek]

Anybuddy else agree this is gonna be up there wi the pinned wans soon ?

[Java]

Dear Diary,

Went to local pub last night for change of scene. Sat next to farmers synchronising watches for daily tractor run. Were drowning sorrows as apparently only managed to hold up forty seven cars yesterday. Record is ninety three by four tractors working as team.

Had shot at darts and thought about joining team…captain said no as cost of parking at hospital is too high. Had shot at dominoes and thought about joining team…captain also said no as joining dots on dominoes is not allowed.

Asked for cherry and umbrella in drink. Pub does not do cocktails so ended up with tomato crisp and dart in half pint of shandy. Was surprisingly good so had two more….now have full set of darts but am still not allowed on team.

Lovely night so decided to walk home. Lovely night lasted exactly seven minits then not so lovely night. Much wind and rain so put hood up. Hood hampers vision so strayed into ditch – was filthy and lost shoe in mud but passing polis kindly gave me lift to station. Am now charged with being hoodie and carrying offensive weapons. Pub denies giving me darts. Have sat in cell for eleven hours as husband is stuck in traffic due to tractors. Wunner if polis need new member of gun club.....